Confusing and Wrong [ Harry Styles ]

Chapter 16

I walk into my mothers room with a terrible feeling in the pit of my stomach, the curtains are drawn and the room is still black even though it's noon and she normally would have been awake hours ago. I am still half asleep when I fumble my way over to her windows and pull the curtains open. "Mom it is noon already," I tell her, "Wake up."

When I turn to look at her I can immediately tell something is wrong, her hand is holding onto the blanket and her skin is like paper and you can see all the veins in her hand which is the only thing above the blanket. When I pull the blanket back empty eyes are looking up at me and I know she is gone. "NOOOO please mom, please! WAKE UP!"

"SOMEONE HELP ME!" When I finally wake up I am in a bed that isn't my own, in a cold sweat and my throat feels like I have been eating gravel. It takes me a minutes to remember the move we made today and that we are living with Harry and Ben.

"Acelyn, Acelyn! Are you okay?" Harry comes running in seconds later in nothing but a pair of boxer shorts "Is someone here? Are you okay?"

"I'm fine Harry it was just a dream. I am sorry to wake you, go back to sleep." I look over at the clock and see that it is three in the morning and we have school today.

"Alright if you need anything just holler. I will be just down the hall."

"Yeah, sure." After Harry left, I lay still for an hour; every time I close my eyes I see my mothers empty eyes looking up at me. By four thirty I decide to put something warm on and go out onto the balcony in hopes that some fresh air will get rid of the awful image that has engraved itself in my mind.

The air outside is cold and the wind is nipping at my cheeks, but after that dream it gives me something to take my mind off of the images that are burned into the back of my eyelids. When I sit on the wooden seat of the swing the cold seeps through the material of the track pants that I put on over the flannel pants I was sleeping in. While I swing it starts to snow again and the wind blows into the alcove of the balcony; icy flakes slap me in the face and my nose starts to run.

The clock at my bedside says that it is already five o'clock but I'm still not tired enough to go to bed. My iPod is sitting beside the bed so I turn on the white lights above me and find my headphones, turning on my music.

Can you hear the silence?

Can you see the dark?

Can you fix the broken?

Can you feel, can you feel my heart?

After an hour of nothing but sitting on my floor, staring at nothing with my music blaring in my ears, it's almost time to get ready for school. Fuck I'm going to be so tired and I can't do anything about it. I decide to have a shower and get ready for the day. The bathroom beside my room is painted pale turquoise and seems to have been stocked for my arrival because it has my shampoo and conditioner as well as shaving cream, body wash, perfume, toothbrushes, toothpaste and anything I could possibly need in a bathroom. The shower is nice and warm on my back as I get in and the shower head is gigantic. By the time I am done the shower walls are soaked and the mirror is foggy. The bathroom is like a sauna but my muscles feel relaxed and I am ready to take on the day. I walk back to my room with a black towel that I found in the cupboard wrapped around me and another one that I am using the dry my hair.

I get dressed in my favourite black skinny jeans with a hole in the knee and a black crop top that has a middle finger on it. This shirt has got me into more trouble at school than I care to remember. Once I have my docs on I walk down to the kitchen.

"Morning Acelyn. How did you sleep last night?"

"Morning Ben. I didn't sleep worth shit, but thanks for asking." I reply sarcastically. "You got coffee around here?"