When The Snow Turns Black

Demons

Finally, after long day she could fall into sleep, let her body rest a bit. She couldn't fully let her mind in to comfortable darkness, one because if her memories and guilt take over, it won't end good, and two but even more important, redheaded has the best assassin right behind the wall.

Loud scream woke her up. 'Bucky, Jesus Christ!' she thought something happened but after she run to next room she saw him immersed in deep sleep and screaming on bed. Natasha run to poor man and started shake him. "Barnes! It's just a bad dream." and next thing redheaded knew, was strong hit from the front and back, behind her was hard wall and the reason she was there was Bucky closing his left hand on her throat. 'Don't shake assassin while he is sleeping, yup got it.' Natasha thought.

"Barnes." she tried to say as loud as she could. "Bucky, it's just a drea..." Widow felt hand on her throat, she was terrified, first time in long time she didn't know what to do, how to free herself. "James wake up!"

Soldier shook his head, then looked at what he was holding and saw it wasn't what but who, scared, little, redheaded woman. Her deep green eyes were filled with tears. "Natasha? I... I'm so sorry." he took his hand back, now he was the one that is terrified. "Are you ok? I..."

"Barnes it's ok" she said holding her hand where just few seconds ago was something so deadly. "I'm fine." Natasha sound like she was trying to convince herself too.

"I'm sorry, really I didn't mean to..." Bucky felt so bad, he didn't know how to apologize.

"I know and it's ok. I've been worst many times" widow was trying to play cool but inside she was afraid of this man.

"I.." he started again.

"Enough of being sad and sorry Barnes." they sat in silence. Natasha took deep breathe. " Ok I think we both need a drink. That's what helps me with nightmares. I would say mission but maybe it's better to wait till tomorrow. So what do you say?" she looked at Bucky waiting for any reaction.

"Drink sounds great." he smiled weakly.

"That's what I thought." said Natasha and went out of the room just to come back in few minutes with two glasses and full bottle of amber whiskey.

"Are you sure it's good idea?" Bucky knew people can do stupid things with alcohol in blood.

"Barnes, I'm telling you this is great idea, drink." Natasha said fast.

"You ok?" she was stressed as much as he could tell.

"Well let's just say, you are not the only one who needs a drink." Ronanoff was trying not to think about Red Room but whole situation with Bucky reminded her all her nightmares.
She lost part of her confidence when Bucky almost killed her. Natasha once again buried her fear deep in her mind hoping no one will see her weakness.

Natasha woke up at 4.00 am from horrible nightmare and went to kitchen to make some coffee that maybe would safe her mind this day. Few drinks with Bucky helped her fall asleep but not for long, she had so much on her mind, SHIELD, HYDRA, Steve and what will happen if he finds out, and of course Bucky the biggest unknown.
Black Widow felt something on her shoulder, her instinct kicked in seconds. Natasha's hand closed on knife lying* near. She turned around to face her attacker.

"Water is boiling" in front of her stand Bucky with knife pressed to his throat. Just then she heard high noise.

" Don't do that. Don't..." Natasha put the knife back on the table.

"Sorry, I will remember not to do... that" Bucky still felt bad after what happened last night but now he saw he wasn't the only person with problems.

"No, I'm sorry I should control myself" She definitely had too much on her mind.

"I didn't... Yesterday" If only he could take what happened last night, he wasn't bad inside at least he thought he wasn't. Bucky was still figuring out which part of him is HYDRA and which is just old Buck.

"I told you it's ok... I'm ok" She knew she was saying it over and over but she didn't know what else she could say, it wasn't like she was fine but she couldn't admit it to someone just like that.

"Really?" Bucky slowly lifted his right hand and gently moved Widow's hair. Her neck was one huge purple bruise. "Natasha, I'm..."

"I told you, it's fine. You want some coffee?" she said and slowly took Bucky's hand of her neck.

"Umm, Do you have some tea?"

"Yeah sure, black, green?"

"Black, please." That was one of not many things he knew about himself, he liked black tea.

"I'll leave you laptop and I will try to find out something in SHIELD."

Natasha went to bathroom to get ready, but also to see how bad is her neck looking. Expecting the worst she looked at the mirror. Redhead took her hair from hurt part of her body, then she saw what Bucky was talking about. It didn't look good, you could see whole purple hand shape on her neck.

Natasha was waiting for the next mission, hoping it won't come, not now when she has assassin in her apartment. She tried to focus on work and looking for something useful that will lead them to HYDRA.

"Hello?"

"Natasha I found something" said familiar voice from the phone.

"Ba..." she turn to see if there was anyone who could see her. She couldn't risk* "How the hell you have my number?!" she didn't expect him to call. 'Ok that is kind of impressive.' she thought to herself.

"Does it matter? Listen I found something we can use. When you will be back?" he was really focused on job and you could hear it through the phone.

"Well, can we be on are way? You know where to go?"

"Yes, It's two hours ride in car."

" Great I will be there in twenty minutes." She hang up, and grabbed her car keys.

~°°°~
I'm sorry to anyone who is reading this, that it took me so long time to write this.