The Memory of a Dream

My eyes were struggling to open, but I felt so exhausted. I felt almost sedated and I felt stiff. My joints ached and my limbs were so heavy. I fluttered open my eyes. I was laying down. I figured that Melanie told me to go lay down in the staff break room for a minute. She knew how much I was trying to get overtime and she was pretty concerned about my anxiety when I got overtired.

I was going to rub my eyes and try to stretch, but I couldn't move my arms. It was confusing, my arms felt tied down. I tried to swing my legs off the couch and my legs wouldn't move. For a moment, I got scared that I was sick or injured and closed my eyes tightly. I tried to readjust my brain to the fact I needed to wake up.

I opened my eyes wide and looked the ceiling. The florescent lights above me were so bright that it was jarring. The ceiling tiles were a bright white and I had never noticed them in the break room before.

I looked from side to side, the walls were white and bare. I couldn't move.

When I picked my head up and glanced down at my arms and legs, I almost vomited from shock. My ankles and wrists were restrained. I was restrained and the straps were familiar. Brown leather and bronze buckles. It was so confusing. I tried to wiggle myself awake, but nothing was budging. That's when I noticed the gown. I was in a hospital gown. A white gown with little blue flowers and I didn't have shoes on. I felt so out of it, my head felt cloudy and my mouth was dry and I felt the same way I did when I was 16 and had my wisdom teeth taken out. I was there, but I wasn't.

I started yelling, I was yelling for Melanie and Chip and anyone would listen. Did a patient do this me? Was it a prank? Was I dreaming? What was happening?

I heard someone enter the room.

"Hey, hey, hey, stop yelling. You're okay. You were sedated...you're just confused.", a man's voice said to me as my head slammed down onto the bed and I squeezed my eyes closed.

I felt sick and my head pounded and I was freezing cold.

I felt him put a blood pressure cuff on my arm and I turned my head and saw him pumping it up.

"What is going on?...Why am I in this room?", I asked him.

"You're okay. You came in upset, we had to give you something to help you relax. You were intoxicated when you got admitted and you were resisting us a bit. You did a number on yourself. Had to get some stitches and you got a black eye, the other tech said you fell."

Just as I was going to argue with him, my eyes adjusted and he wasn't blurry anymore.

I thought I was going to be sick.

"Just try to relax. As soon as Chip comes in, I'll let him know you're awake and we can get you to your room so you can sleep it off.", he responded calmly.

"Please, please, there's been a mistake! What is going on? Why am I in here?", I asked him frantically.

"Ms. Pierce, you were admitted under an involuntary hold. The ER said you were intoxicated and you self-injured severely. You called 911. Told them you were going to commit suicide....do you not remember any of this?", he asked me.

I just looked at him. I thought he was playing a sick on me. Me, a patient?

I wasn't a patient in this place! I wasn't in the restraint room!

"Ms. Pierce...", he started to say when I interrupted him.

--"Why are you calling me that!? It's Jenna! I work here!"

And at that moment everything blurred. Strange things entered my head. I suddenly had images of me drinking out of a bottle of vodka. Smoking cigarettes and taking apart a disposable razor with pliers. These confusing images kept flashing through my mind. I remembered talking to a nurse, her name was Gina.

Gina told me they were committing me.

Chip walked in. His loud steps getting closer to me and he stood over me. Chip and unknown man whispered to one another.

"Ms. Pierce? I know you're confused, but your brain is foggy. You were given a heavy sedative so things are a bit confusing. You'll be okay. I'd like to let you out of these restraints. Can you be calm?", the male tech asked in a calm voice.

I just nodded.

He and Chip unbuckled the restraints and helped me sit up.

I was just looking around and the two of them whispered while looking at my chart.

"Chip?", I said in a whisper.

"Its okay darling. You're gonna be okay. Do you remember anything?", he said to me softly.

I had never heard him speak so sweetly and it was nice and weird.

"I'm sorry Ms. Pierce, you're a bit confused. It's a common side effect of the medication you were given.", The tech said to me.

"We're gonna take you to a room, you got a private one..we're doing everything we can to help you.", Chip replied.

I couldn't speak, I was just in shock.

They both led me out of the room and down the hall, into a private room, which almost no patient got unless they were a harm to other patients.

"Get some rest. We'll check on you later.", The tech said with a smile.

"Chip, can you tell me what's going on?", I asked him.

He sighed. "We can discuss it tomorrow; you were given a sedative and you won't remember anything we talk about. Just get some sleep." He said

It was weird he was treating me like a patient. He wasn't using clinical terms and it bothered me. I didn't want to be treated like a patient and if I had any energy and if my legs didn't feel like jello, I would demand an answer.

Instead I just sat down the hard mattress and I knew this was only the memory of a dream