Calloused

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Entry: 30

I wonder if anyone caught on to my age.

Is it okay to feel this empty?

I stopped looking for a light.

Yet I fell night-blind in the dark.

I can't see where I am going.

Yet.. I don't care anymore.

I should cherish what sanity I have left.

But that means I would be hoping. And right now in my life, hoping is useless.

Entry: 31

The 31st entry.

I don't know how much more I will write. My life has become a cycle.

Wake up. Clean my clothes. Fix my hair. Eat. Drink. Write some. Fall asleep. And then repeat the next time I wake up.

Which takes weeks, if not a month.

Entry: 32

The end.

At the beginning, they said it was near.

It's been years.

And right now. It feels like everything just began.

It's twisted.

I want to be dead.

Entry: 33

It's never going to end.

I can't commit suicide. She takes over once the thought comes to my mind.

She won't kill me yet.

And I can't kill myself.

I am a lost cause.

I lost everything that I had.

Yet I don't feel anything when I think about my parents.

It seems I have become calloused to murdering people. I don't even care for the dead eyes that stares at me when I awake. No. Instead I become annoyed that Halla couldn't even burn the body herself.

The end... Is not insight anymore.

You've reached the end of published parts.

⏰ Last updated: Jan 28, 2014 ⏰

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