Paper & Rocks (a Office Fanfic)

"Christmas Party"

Okay so warning, this chapter will have some sensitive material, there's bulimic struggles described.
Song: Something in the Way -Thou
Quote: "Bitterness is like cancer. It eats upon the host. But anger is like fire. It burns it all clean." ~Maya Angelou
••••

Dwight and Micheal are coming into the office with a huge Christmas tree, "Go. Get the door." Dwight says.
"Here we are."
Dwight tells Micheal, "Go. Push!"
Michael says as they try to shove the tree through the door, "Oh god."
"Push!"
"No, no, turn it around." Micheal tries to argue.
"Really shove it."
"You'll break it."
Dwight yells, "Shove it through! Break it!"
"You shove it. Shove it back!" Micheal tells Dwight, "Here we go. Don't break the branches, Dwight."
They get the tree through the door and Dwight says, "I got a splinter."
"Well, suck it up. We all have problems. Hey, everybody, look what we have!" Micheal laughs, "Nice, huh?"
"I've got it leveraged. Push. Straight up."
"On three. Ready? Big, one, two, three." Micheal grunts as they push.
"One, two, three." Dwight says as they push the tree up and it breaks through a ceiling tile.
Michael yells, "Merry Christmas!"
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Michael asks Kevin as he saws the top of the tree, "Did it work?"
Kevin holds up the piece of tree he just cut off with a paper cutter, "Well, sort of. Why did you get it so big?"
Michael replies, "A, that's what she said, and B, I wanted it to be impressive. The biggest day of the year deserves the biggest tree of the year."
Jac asks from Jim's desk, "But what are we going to do with this hacked off part?"
"Well, that is a perfectly good mini-tree, Jac. And we are going to sell that to charity. That's what Christmas is all about." Micheal replies.
Jac face palms and sighs, "You don't sell things to charity."
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Jim says in the break room, "So this year, for the first time ever, I got Pam in Secret Santa. And I got her this teapot, which I know she really wants, so she can make tea at her desk." He puts the light blue tea pot in a box, "But I'm also going to stuff it with some inside jokes. Like, this is my high school yearbook photo. She saw it at the party, and it really makes her laugh. Not sure why. What else .. ooh. This is a hot sauce packet. She put this on a hot dog a couple years ago because she thought it was ketchup. And it was really funny, so I kept the other two." He holds up a miniature pencil, "This would take a little too long to explain, so I won't. And this is the card. Because Christmas is the time to tell people how you feel."
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Angela asks the party planning committee in the conference room, "Is there anything we're missing? Phyllis, you got the lights?"
"Yes, I got those cute little ones." Phyllis replies. Angela looks at her disapprovingly, "Do you think I should have gotten the big ones?"
Angela mutters, "We'll see."
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Ryan says bored, "Angela drafted me into the party planning committee. Her memo said that we need to prepare for every possible disaster. Which to me seems excessive."
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Michael comes into the conference room in a Santa hat and beard, "Merry Christmas! Ho, ho, ho," he points to Ryan, "pimp. I'm kidding. What do we got, what do we got? How many plates are we getting?"
Angela replies, "Fifty."
Michael says as he takes a wad of money out, "Double it. Double everything. Double ice cream. Double napkins. Double it. On me."
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"It was a tough year. I had to fire somebody this year. This party has to really rock. Check it out. Christmas bonus. 3,000 G's." He holds up his bonus check, "Got this for helping save the company money. So I guess some good came out of firing Devon after all. Maybe I should call him and tell him that."
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"I want people to cut loose. I want people making out in closets. I want people hanging from the ceilings, lamp shades on the heads. I want it to be a Playboy Mansion party. And also, I want you to spread the word that I will have my digital camera. And I'll be taking pictures all along the way. And the best and craziest thing that happens will be on the cover of the newsletter. Incentive." Micheal tells them.
Pam says, "You do realize that we can't serve liquor at the party."
Michael sighs, "Yeah, I know. Damn it. Stupid corporate wet blankets. Like booze ever killed anybody."
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