Hello Detective

Gregson Part 3

I exited the plane at Heathrow Airport and couldn't be more happy to be back in London. I was a little better, but there was still a hole in my life. I saw a familiar face in the crowd outside of the terminal, but not the one I expected to see. He held a sign with my name in a casual sophisticated way in his three piece suit. I laughed when I saw him.

"Excuse me, I'm looking for Mycroft Holmes, I can't seem to find him." I said sarcastically to Mycroft who lowered the sign.

"Yes, yes, very funny. Welcome home." He smiled and hugged me.

"You look..." He said, looking me up and down.

"If you say fat, I'll punch you." I smiled.

"Beautiful." He smiled. "And pregnant."

"I've missed you. I've missed this city. I'm not the same woman that left three weeks ago." I said, as the two of us walked to the waiting car.

"You seem... better. Like the time away did you some good. I do hope you enjoyed the wedding." Mycroft spoke, and I looked to him curiously before remembering who I was dealing with.

"I haven't seen him since he was deployed, it was nice. Though I think London is my home now. I couldn't imagine being anywhere else." I said, "It's still hard, knowing he won't be here, but it is what it is, and I still have a part of him." I placed a hand over my growing stomach once the two of us were in the car.

"Hello Giles." I said to the driver, who I had expected to greet me inside, instead of Mycroft.

"Hello Ms.Gregson, hope you had a pleasant trip." He said politely and I smiled.

That night, I wrote another letter to Sherlock, my pile was growing at a slow but full pace. I had written one every week. The next few weeks progressed much the same. My stomach kept growing, and the thought and memory of Sherlock still hadn't escaped my mind. I had been going for walks a lot, apparently it was good for the baby, and it was good for me. It gave me a chance to clear my head and spend some time with my thoughts.

That night I convinced Mycroft to have a movie night and spend some time together, he had been extremely busy with work lately and I thought he deserved a break. He agreed, but only with the condition that he got to choose the movie. His choice surprised me more than anything, and I couldn't help but burst into laughter.

"Four Weddings and A Funeral." I thought I had heard him wrong.

"Are you serious," I couldn't stop laughing, "Are you sure you don't want to watch Bridget Jones Diary, or maybe Love Actually."

"Adelaide, have you ever seen it?" He asked, not pleased with my laughter.

"No. How about Notting Hill?" I joked.

"You're going to love it, stop laughing." He scolded as the two of us curled up on the couch.

"Oh, Mycroft Holmes, you never cease to amaze me." I laid my head on his shoulder as he pressed play.

A few minutes into the movie, I flinched and my hand flew to my stomach while a groan escaped my lips. Mycroft immediately jumped up in front of me.

"What happened? Is everything okay? Is it the baby?" He asked frantically. I only smiled through the pain.

"It's kicking. Mycroft he's kicking!" I said with glee. I quickly grabbed his hand and placed it over my stomach so he could feel it.

I watched his eyes grow wide as he felt the small kick. I've never seen him smile so wide.

"Oh my god. I can feel it, there's really a baby in there." He said, becoming obsessed.

"That's generally the way it works." I laughed.

"Does it hurt?" He asked, how hands still on my stomach.

"A little, it's just kind of uncomfortable." I said, and I suddenly grew sad. These were firsts that I had wanted to experience with Sherlock, and now he was gone.

"You said he." Mycroft pointed out.

"What?" I asked confused.

"A minute ago, you said he's kicking. You think it's a boy." He said.

"I didn't tell you, I got curious the other day while I was out for a walk. I remembered the doctor saying I could call them back if I wanted to know the sex, and well... I called and it's a boy." I smiled.

"Have you thought of names?" Mycroft asked.

"It's a little early for that, don't you think?" I replied.

"You're almost five months pregnant, I don't think it's too early." He said.

"Well I've always liked William." I said, off-handedly. Mycroft looked away from me, and I grew scared.

"What's wrong with William?" I asked.

"Nothing, it's just that..." He stopped.

"Mycroft, just can't keep doing this. What is it?" I asked, nervous.

"William Sherlock Scott Holmes. That's the whole of it. He probably never told you." Mycroft said quietly.

"No he didn't." I said, looking down.

"Adelaide," Mycroft grabbed my hand, "It's a perfect name, and you'll make a wonderful mother."

"Everyone keeps saying that, but I'm not so sure. And honestly, I'm terrified." I said.

"That's normal, but if anyone could do this, it's you." He said, and his words comforted me. I nuzzled back into his shoulder and finished the movie before falling asleep.

When I woke up I was hot, too hot. My body was on fire and my thoughts were clouded. Everything was blurry. I thought I heard someone calling my name, but I was slipping in and out of consciousness.

"Adelaide?" I heard Mycroft yelling, and trying to wake me. "Adelaide, you're burning up, you have a fever."

I tried to stand, but the pain in my stomach was killing me. This wasn't normal. Something was wrong. Was I bleeding?

"Adelaide!" Was the last thing I heard before collapsing into Mycroft's arms.

When I woke up, I was in a hospital bed with needles in my arm. My whole body felt numb. I blinked a few times before my vision had cleared. I didn't know how much time had passed, but it felt like it was already morning.

I turned my head and saw Mycroft asleep in a chair next to me. He should have been at work, but instead it looked like he had stayed up all night with me. The door opened, which woke Mycroft, and a doctor entered. I turned my head to the other side and saw a table under the window full of flowers. The realization struck me, and my mouth dropped open.

"How are you feeling Ms.Gregson?" The doctor asked gently.

My eyes filled up with tears and I began to shake my head. This couldn't be happening, not to me, not after everything. I felt Mycroft grab my hand.

"Ms.Gregson, I'm very sorry. Late term miscarriages like this are very rare, but they do happen. Right now we're not sure what caused it. We're very sorry, but there was nothing we could do. We think possibly the umbilical cord could have been wrapped around the baby's neck." The doctor said, but I could barely hear, there was a ringing in your ears.

Everything had stopped. I pulled my hand away from Mycroft. I was unsure which pain is worse– the shock of what happened or the ache for what never will.

I've changed. Irrevocably. Permanently. My soul is richer and my heart is fuller in brokenness than it ever was without. I've learned true despair. When you lose a baby but you are made to feel like it's just a common medical condition, it's heart shattering. It's mentally exhausting, feeling bad about something you can do nothing about.

I had realized something. Everyone is afraid of dying, until you lose a child... then you're afraid of living.