#Chapter 2: Mum's decision

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The most effective way to live is as a worrier. A worrier may worry and think before making any decisions, but once he makes it, he goes his way, free from worries or thoughts; there will be a million other decisions still awaiting him. That's the worrier wat.
-Carlos Castaneda
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Terrible sneeze woke me up. The worst pain I ever felt in my entire existence shot through me. I screamed out in pain, my hands held my stomach softly aware not to put any pressure on it.

You know that feeling when you exercise too much and the next day your tummy is so sore you can't even laugh or sneeze or cough. And when you try not to laugh, everyone around you is going out of their way to make you laugh for the fun of it. Yeah, not fun. Believe me!

Well, I thought that was the universe's way of punishing me. The universe was giving me allergies on purpose. Not that I had enough pain to deel with.

But not to be unrealistic or anything, that feeling was ten times, if not twenty times worse than just your muscles having cramps. For goodness sake I had a ten centimeter knife inside me.

One of the nurses must have heard me, cause five seconds later a nurse appeared in the doorway.

"Are you alright miss?" The nurse asked.

Clearly I'm not alright! I shook my head as an answer trying to straighten out my curled up body. It was so freaking hard to cope with the pain.

When I opened my eyes the nurse was at my side re-adjusting my pillows. "It's not my pillows that's in pain..." I whispered in a pained breath.

She turned away from me so I couldn't see what she was up to. "What's that?" Breathless I asked, still interested in what she was doing at my IV drip.

"I'm just adjusting your pain medication to a higher dosage. I can see you're in a lot of pain and your mum said you need to rest." She was acting all nonchalantly, but I saw the the frown on her forehead.

My mum? What the hell does my mum have to do with anything. Why does she have a say in my dosages?

I watched her turn a small circle thingy on the IV two knots to the left. Lefty loosey, righty tighty I guess. I hoped that the medication works fast.

I knew I said I wanted to break the habit of using pain medication but it's an addiction. Addiction doesn't just go away, you know!

I'm already used to the numbing feeling it gives me. It was taking all the pain away, sometimes creating problems. But I need it to survive.

"Anything else miss? Are you comfortable? Can I get you something?" Do I need something? All I need was to get out of there.

"No, but can you do me a favour? When my mum is here tomorrow, can you please wake me? I need to talk to her. And with the dosage you're giving me, I won't be able to wake myself."

"Sure thing miss, now get some sleep." With that said, she turned away and walked to the door. She flipped the light switch on her way out. The pain was finally fading but my mind was running a olympic marathon, though every thought was swimming into the next.

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