Silence and Hurricanes (Editing)

#Chapter 4: Erika Williams

It's only after we've lost everything that we're free to do anything.
-Tayler Durden
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The school was big. Really big. I'm not sure if I could compare it to anything. Speechless kind of big. It's like when you step into a mansion for the first time and you can't take your eyes off of the chandeliers or the staircase that goes up to the fourth floor.

Every kid in the school was staying on the campus itself. There was separate buildings just for the dorms and it was categorized in age. The building I'm sleeping in had a age limit from fourteen to eighteen.

I was sitting with the Dean and Doctor Williams in a large office, discussing my former life as if I'm not even there.

I blanked out on almost everything she was saying. Yes, I said she, the Dean of the huge school is a she. The doctor was speaking on behalf of myself so I just sat there trying to make my wheelchair look pretty. I think they were talking about how stable I am and whatnot.

Obviously I was not needed there. Nobody was asking me how I felt, they just assume I was in a bad condition and need serious treatment.

While she was busy rambling something I rolled my wheelchair to the other side of the huge table. I didn't miss the confused look on the Dean's face and the slight pause in the conversation when I decided to leave the room.

Doctor Williams would inform me later on everything I had to know, like my schedule and my dorm number. Oh, and don't forget... They told me a welcome buddy would be provided... Yeah me!

Strolling outside I saw a couple groups hanging out on campus. They looked...happy. I guess. How can someone be happy in a place like this? I thought.

Maybe I could be happy. I want to be happy! No! I want my mum to be happy, I don't want to be a burden for her anymore. My head began swinging and I felt like throwing up. There was this heavy pressure on my stomach I couldn't shake. I should've listened to the doctor. I should've taken that stupid pain pills.

The more I rolled down the hallway the more I couldn't remember where I was going. The lightheadedness hit me like an oncoming bus.

The pain went away for a single moment, or so I thought. My head snapped from side to side trying to get rid or all the negative thoughts popping into my head. I tried to focus on something, anything.

I began to feel a wave after another wave of fear and my stomach gave out on me. I could hear my heart pounding so loudly I thought it would come out of my chest. Pain were shooting down my legs making them numb, feeling slightly paralyzed.

I was so afraid that I couldn't catch my breath. What was happening to me? Was I having a heart attack? Was I dying? It's a... breath... Panic attack!

My wheelchair stopped next to a pillar, I reached out a shaking hand to steady myself. I felt like I was about to fall of my chair, tipping over cause my legs wouldn't work.

I don't want to be here, I want to go home! I don't want to go to the therapist, or any therapist for that matter. I don't want to see my new room, I just don't...

The next thing I knew the wheelchair tilted to the right and I was on the floor. I felt pain shooting through my right shoulder and knee. Definitely going to leave a bruise. My stomach felt like it ripped open and my head throbbed from the impact...