Credit to spoilersweetie
Doctor,” River draws the word out, sidling up to him as he taps away at the console.
“No.”
“I didn’t say anything!”
“I know what that tone means with you women –especially Pond women.”
River folds her arms with a huff, offended. “I was only going to ask if you wanted a cup of tea,” she says, batting her eyelashes innocently, big green eyes full of pseudo-hurt.
“When have you ever made me a cup of tea, dear? Try again,” he says, as if bored with this conversation already but the twinkle in his eye tells her he is amused.
“Sex then.”
Still tapping away with one hand, eyes on the monitor, he holds up a finger. “More believable, but still not enough so.” Pressing a final button he turns to fully face her, dropping his voice as he fixes her with a smirk. “When have you ever askedfor that?”
Unable to help herself, River laughs throatily, stepping closer into his personal space, and trailing a finger up his lapel until she can toy with his bowtie. “You’ve got me there sweetie.”
Reaching up his own hand, the Doctor tugs fondly on one of her curls. “So, what do you want?”
She sighs and moves in, pressing herself lightly against him as she looks up into his eyes. “Sweetie,” she says gently. “We’ve been married for rather a long time now…”
“Yes…” He says, looking suspicious.
“I’m your wife honey and you know every little thing about me – well – everything that isn’t spoilers.” She speaks softly and sweetly, and it only makes the Doctor more suspicious.
He narrows his eyes. “Where is this going, River?”
She sighs, and gives him her best pout. “Don’t you think it’s time I knew your name?”
Just like that, the guard is up, she can see it in the way something changes in his eyes and he steps back from her, plucking her hand from his bowtie.
“We’ve discussed this –“
“But sweetie –“
“No, River. Now is not the time.”
“But – there will be a time?” She suddenly brightens up, and the Doctor looks away from her quickly, jaw tight. He turns back to the monitor.
“I can’t tell you,” he says, after a pause, and River huffs and leaves it at that.
--
“Doctor!” River yells over the sound of angry cries and roaring flames beneath them. “We’ve got about three minutes until this rope breaks!”
“I know!” The Doctor yells back, tied back to back with her, dangling ten feet over an open volcano.
“I hope you have a plan!”
“Yes – of course – sort of…” He twists his neck to try and look at her. “Don’t you have a plan?”
“What? No! That’s your area sweetie! I do the shooting – you do the planning – and since my gun is fifty feet away from us in the hands of a savage alien who doesn’t even know what it is, I’d say this is your call!”
“Oh.”
“What do you mean ‘oh’!?” She yells over the deafening noise.
“Well my plan was sort of… that you would have a plan…”
