Her. (lmao)

Mindsets

-Chapter 1-

Erin POV

Why is the sky blue? I know, I know, the blue light from the UV spectrem shines from the sun more intensly than the other colours and reflects off the water. I know that. At least I think I do... But why is it really? Why did God choose Blue? It could have been red. Why don't we have a red sky? Or a green sky? Why did he choose blue? Its sad and dreary, its not supposed to be bright and bring happiness...

I'm Erin. I'm 16. And this is the type of thing I think about in class while my teacher drones on and on about shapes and colours or whatever the hell shes talking about. Oh wait this is french class. Well I'm super excited to fail. I don't really know why I think like this all the time. I don't know, I'm not very good at judging myself. I can only judge others, and it makes no sense to me. Why is that? Is it because I see them with my own eyes and not through mirrors and photographs? Is it because I perceive myself to be better than them? Is it...

No. I'm overthinking this again. I do that a lot. It's kind of a downer.

Anyway... There is this boy. He's kinda famous. But I just... I feel a connection to him. Something drawing me to him. Everything he does reminds myself of me. Maybe he thinks like me. Maybe he asks the same questions I do. What I would do to talk to him... I just want someone who understands. I love my friends, but they don't know. They don't get it. Maybe only he can. Ashton Fletcher Irwin. This is my plea. Hear it.

Ashton POV

I'm happy. Im famous. Millions of people have been saved my me.

ME.

I did that.

I tell myself this every day. It keeps me from going back to high school. Before the band. Those days were dark. I tell myself that I'm positive. Optimistic. Okay. Yeah... I'm okay. I'm better. Yeah, I am. I'm better for them. I promise.

Sometimes when I'm alone I wonder if I really am okay. Then I doubt myself and it gets hard. After all that I realize I am. I enjoy the simple things in life. Laughing comes a little easier every day. Something is missing, but I really am okay. My mates help. Music does as well. But there will always be something missing. No one understands me. They dont get that I only laugh to distract myself from... myself. They don't understand the struggle of being famous. They don't understand ME. And I need that.

I'm Ashton. I'm 19. I'm in a band called 5 seconds of summer, and I love my mates more than my own life. But you see, no one understands how literal that really is. My life is perfect. I have the girls and the cars and all the shit anyone could ever want. Except I dont. I don't have everything, and nothing is perfect. NO ONE is perfect. And I can't keep my life to myself, i'm not strong enough for that. I wish I was, but you know fvcking what? I'm not. Life is hard. It is so, so hard. Why is it? Why do I have to go through this?

I'm broken. And this is my plea. Come be my someone.