Destiel Oneshots

Sam is Scarred for Life

In which Sam finds out they're dating ;)

It all started at three am on a Monday.

Sam had been fast asleep until he heard a banging noise and a groan coming from Dean's room.

He jumped out of bed, only wearing baggy sweatpants, and ran down the bunker hallway with a  sawed off shotgun.

He had his gun locked and loaded, ready to shoot whatever was trying to harm his brother.

When he burst into the room he was not expecting to see Cas, bent over Dean's desk with Dean curled over him. Cas's hand's were gripping the sides of the desk's and Dean had one arm wrapped around Cas' waist and the other was hidden by Cas's body.

Sam made a mental note to never touch Dean's left hand ever again.

"Oh... um... yeah I'll be leaving now."

Cas flushed red and Dean grunted a, "Sorry Sammy."

Sam took off down the hall, closing Dean's door behind him. He ignored every sound he heard that night, pillow tightly wrapped around his head.

The next morning Dean shuffled out of his room, Cas not far behind.

"Sammy," Sam winced at what was going to come next.

"Sorry about what you, um, witnessed last night."

Sam shook his head, not looking up at Dean, "Yeah um, it's fine, maybe just, volume control okay guys."

"Sorry Sam," Cas said solemnly.

He heard Cas walk away then Dean pulled out a chair across from Sam.

Sam didn't look up at him the entire time because all he saw was his brother with his dick in his guardian angel's ass.

~~~

It only got worse from there. 

Sam had thought they went to get dinner, which he knew that was code for 'we're gonna fuck in the car then get food, don't wait up.'

So he figured it was safe to take a shower, seeing as they were going to be a while.

He walked into the shower room to see a very naked Dean with his arms wrapped around a very naked Castiel's waist. Cas' arms were around Dean's neck and Sam couldn't help but think it'd be cute if he didn't see Dean's hand wrap around both their dicks.

Then, two days later when Sam walked into the kitchen for coffee, he instead found Dean giving Cas a blowjob next to the coffee maker.

Sam went out and bought a new coffee maker the next day.

Four days later, he figured it'd be safe to walk around his own home at two pm. But no, he found Dean and Cas sprawled out on the library floor, not wearing anything.

The last straw was when he went out to get dinner, and give the two horny idiots their space, and came back to see see them doing it in his room.

The next day Sam went into Dean's room, after making sure Cas was somewhere else.

"Dean," he started, leaning against the desk then cringing and backing away when he remembered what he witnessed happen on this desk.

"Look man, I get that you and Cas are finally relieving your damn sexual tension that has been building up for, I dunno eight years, but really?!

Like what the fuck man, you guys are fucking like bunnies everywhere!"

Dean sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose.

"It's not like that Sam."

"Um, I'm sorry but I have eyes and I have witnessed wayyy to much."

"No, I mean, we're not just doing it okay?"

"What do you mean because I need to write down some rules about what is and isn't okay in the public space of the bunker. Maybe I should get it laminated so you don't get com-"

"Dammit Sammy! I love him!"

That cut Sam off in the middle of his rant.

"You love me?"

Sam and Dean turned their heads to see Cas peeking his head through the door.

"Uh, yeah Cas, I - I love you."

Cas rushed over to the bed and plopped down on Dean's lap.

"Well I love you too."

Sam had never seen his brother smile so wide.

Sam quietly left the room with a smile on his face.

That was, until he heard some very loud and scarily hardcore sex happening down the hall.