Destiel Oneshots

update on some things (confession followup)

hello, im not dead. literally no one cares but here i am, back on wattpad after just watching scoobynatural at fucking one am. i havent changed much, my writing is still moderate shit. i finally came clean to my parents about my depression and anxiety. turns out i have social anxiety along with other things, i havent been diagnosed with any type of depression yet, but im going to see a therapist soon so its kind of inevitable. my birthday is in two months, im getting old. i have people in my life that help me so fucking much and i know i dont deserve them, but i'll take what i can get before they realize that. i have a human now too ;) they make me happier than i thought anyone but misha collins could. i have so many insecurities about it that i dont think i could ever tell them. things like them realizing that i suck. i guess i have abandonment issues. because they want to keep it a secret and to me that means they dont really want this. and of course i cant ask them why they dont want to tell anyone because the very idea sends me into panic. i still have my body issues too, yay. i had a period of time where i ate an unhealthy amount for almost three months (one meal a day, everyday). the thing is my bmi is 18.5, so i know im being fucking stupid but i still feel fat and disgusting and im not really sure if thats ever going to go away. but ive decided to stop making myself so miserable with the rationing and the counting sugar because if im going to hate myself i might as well eat whatever the fuck i want while doing it. i got a dog to help with my depression. shes adorable and i named her after charlie. she licks my face when i cry and curls up in my lap to sleep and cries when i leave the room. i have found a group of friends that are lgbt+ and we discuss how gay we are. i love it. in the end guys, no matter how shitty or hopeless you feel, i will never hurt to ask for help, maybe not from your parents but your friends. and if you have a fucked up family then make your own, hell i'll be your mom. always be who you want to be, maybe not outwards if it isn't safe for you but in your head you can be whoever the fuck you want to be, a boy, a girl, both, neither, gay, bi, pan, ace. and never fell like you're not enough, you are beautiful, you are strong, you are loved. let yourself be. and never feel to fat or to thin, because that shit doesn't matter, its the person you are and the choices you make. don't let anyone, even fucking god, tell you differently. and if anyone needs to talk i am here and will send you a virtual hug. whoo that was a lot. anyways im off to finish oneshots, i have eleven fucking drafts, shoot me. 

mwah, 

ely