Faking happiness - A Lisa Cimorelli story

Chapter 10

*Lisa's POV*

I walk to my room and sit on my bed, crying. I don't want to hurt my mom, but whatever my decision is, she will get hurt. I have cried for about 15 minutes when I walk to the bathroom, I can't do this anymore. I have been clean for over a year now, but I just feel the urge to do it. I take the blade and put it on my wrist, I sigh and cut myself. I keep hearing the voice inside of my head, telling me how worthless I am, that I am stupid and things like that.

Here a cut for being worthless

here a cut for being stupid

here a cut for being ugly

and last but not least

here a cut for being fat.

I have dealt with body-image problems and I was finally almost over them, but I guess I have them.. Again.

I grab a towel and push it against my cuts until it stops bleeding. I grab some bracelets and splash some water in my face, so no one will see that I've cried.

I walk out of the bathroom and see Christina, she is the only one who knows that I've cut myself. “Can I talk to you for a second, please?” she says, this can't be good. I nod and follow her.

“So.” Christina says, followed by an awkward silence.

“So.” I say to break the awkward silence.

“Do you think we should tell mom?” Christina asks. I have literally no idea if I should tell mom, ugh why is it so hard. I look down to my wrists to make sure that the new cuts aren't visible.

“I don't know Christina, I'm a mess at the moment. I have no idea what I have to do. If I tell mom she will get hurt, but if I don't tell her she'll get hurt as well. I don't know.” I say nervously while I'm still looking down to my wrists. I see that Christina is getting tears in her eyes.

“Lise, can I see your wrists?” I am shocked, how did she find out this quickly? I take off the bracelets and look down, crying.

“Lisa, why? I thought you stopped doing it. Please, don't ever do it again. Don't ever think you're not good enough. Don't ever think you're not skinny enough. Don't ever think you're ugly. Those people are all trying to bring you down, but don't let that happen. You are stronger than them. You are beautiful the way you are. I couldn't imagine having a better Lisa than you. You are amazing. Look at the fans we already got. Most of them want to be you, because you are beautiful. Don't ever cut again Lisa, please. I beg you. If you feel the urge to cut, come to me and I'll help you. Please.” I look up and see Christina crying. I don't know what to say, these words were so inspirational. Christina always knows what to say to make me feel better. I get up and hug her. “Thank you, Christina. I promise I'll try.” I whisper in her ear.

*Christina's POV*

It hurts me to see that Lisa is cutting again. She was finally recovered after that hard time. I was walking past the bathroom when I heard sobs and a few minutes later I saw Lisa getting out of the bathroom with bracelets around her wrist. That's when I knew she was doing it again. I can't get her through all this again, she needs to stop now. Luckily, she promised me that she will try to stop cutting.

I walk to the computer room and go to our YouTube-account. WOAH WHAT? WE HIT 100.000 SUBSCRIBERS, OMG!!

“GIRLS, BAND MEETING NOW!” All the girls ran into the room, they all look confused. “Girls, look how many subscribers we have! 100.000!” We all scream and cry. This time there are tears from happiness.