TWISTED

Jakes POV.

3-Jakes POV✨
I regret self harming so much. I'm going to stop, I haven't got any blades anyway! I feel so guilty for upsetting Kay, I should have told her. I should tell my parents about it all but I can't, I just can't. How would they react? Would they be mad at me? What would they do? The reason I started to get depressed and had my panic attacks was down to the fact my parents were always arguing and me and Weaz are stuck in the middle. It's not happening much anymore though. Weaz is coping well but I seriously ain't. We used to all get on so well but now...we still do but because of this, I tend to keep myself quiet all the time now. I used to tell my parents all my problems but I don't feel close to neither anymore, not even Weaz, not even any of my friends but I know I am close to them all. I just feel alone no matter how much they talk to me or communicate with me. I'm having anxiety thinking about my family falling apart..do I ring Kayleigh? James? Lee? Ollie? I need help. What's going on with me, I'm dizzy now. I can't find my phone. I need help right now. Wait..I'm okay. It's fading now. I hate being alone. I just want someone beside me now. I want my girl. Wait? She's not my girl. Ugh. I hear a knock at the door. I think it's Kay. Finally I have her..wait? someone. I text her quickly and tell her to let herself in (she has a key because she's like family to mine they trust her having a key, that's how amazing she is). I hear her run up the stairs, it's now 10:15. *She knocks and walks in* I bury myself in my covers. She comes over and sits on the edge of the bed right next to me. "Hey Jake, come on we're going out for a walk." I don't want to. "Ba-, er? Kay please no." I mumble under the covers. I've not been out for weeks. It's my worst fear right now. Facing the outside world. *She pulls the covers off my face* I feel the cold hit my neck. "Jake please yes" she says stroking my cheek slightly giggling. I smile awkwardly covering my face with my hands because I missed her company. "Now that's a nice smile I've not seen in days, it looks great on you. Now come on I know you cans how that outside" She says encouraging me. I pull the covers back over me. She pulls them straight off. "I know I'm gonna sound like your Mother here but let's check your arms. Jake, I don't want you to cut so I'm gonna keep a check as its only me who knows" I hand her my arms one at a time. "Your arms healing, let that clear up and heal now. I don't want you doing it anymore okay?" I stay silent. "Jake?" I look at her and cover my face up again coz I just don't want to move. "Have you had anything to eat or drink today?" She asks me trying to be positive. I admit I'm starving. "No but I'm hungry.." I say. "Come on then, ill make you some food" she takes my hand and gets me out of bed and takes me downstairs. I have no energy. She makes me food and I thank her. I don't have the energy to even lift my arms so she helps me. She stays with me the whole day and we just watch films all day on the sofa. I've never felt more loved, ever. I'm so grateful to have her, and James, and Lee, and Ollie of course and all my other friends that know. Kayleigh comes back everyday for the next month and does this for me. I go a month clean of cutting and I've never been more proud in myself. I'm feeling much more positive. I get all sweet messages on my social medias asking of I'm okay so I decide to do a little video to post on YouTube saying I'll be back as soon as I can and I'm grateful for everything. I need to make Kayleigh mine...it's just how?