The Noose (A Perfect Circle/Marilyn Manson Fanfic)

The Noose

"I'll always be here for you"

Lies. I can hear Jeordie's voice in my head and it won't go away. I stayed at Manson's house because of the spare room and Jeordie moved out to go back home, seeing as how he had a new girlfriend. 

Laney. 

I despised her. Some Suicide Slut Girl. She was so stupid and I couldn't stand her voice. I can't believe Jeordie would go for that. 

I sighed and stretched out on the bed. At least I can still smell him. I hadn't changed to bedsheets. Manson tried his best to live normally with me there. He walked out of his bedroom and looked down the hallway at me. 

He started heading towards me. *what is he doing?* I thought. I didn't want him around. 

He leaned against my doorway with something in his hand. "I know what you want...." he teased and showed the bottle of whiskey. I hopped up. 

"Fine" I grabbed it from him and he smiled at me. I raised an eyebrow and he motioned for me to join him in the living room. He had several more bottles of alcohol on the table. 

"Setting up shop are we?" I joked.

"Well I was getting ready for the long haul. I'm gonna dispose of it all so i figured te best way was in our bellies" 

"You're 'disposing' of it?" 

"yes. I'm quitting and putting myself in rehab" he sat down and scratched his chin. "you know, I have you to thank for that" he implied.

"Why's that?" 

"Because if it wasn't for you I wouldn't want to. But I care about you and I didn't want to hurt you. Even if we aren't dating or anything, you trusted me and I betrayed you. Then I started thinking, "What if I had hurt Twiggy that badly?" And I realized that I care about you almost as much as TWiggy and that's saying something" 

I shook my head in disbelief. "You're insane"

"I know this and I'm sorry" he smiled at me. 

"Okay. Drink up, then" I nodded towards him with the entire bottle of whiskey in my hand. I pried it open and began to chug it.

"Woah, there sailor! Calm down..." he chuckled and opened up two beers and placed one on each side of his mouth and downed them. 

I laughed "Look who's talkin!"

Finally, we were infinitely wasted. I leaned up against him on the couch and pouted, pulling his face to mine. 

"I trusted you. With everything..after...After Maynard...fucked me over. I gave you all I had left and you just shit on it" 

Manson adjusted himself in front of me and kissed my lips. I felt like throwing up. "Please stop this back and forth with me" I pleaded.

He leaned in and kissed me again. "It's not a back and forth...I .wanna be with you" he uttered. 

"I just want you to know that all we are is friends. You fucked me over though and I understand how you are. I forgive you" I pushed him off of me. 

He frowned. "Fine. We're friends. Okay..." he twisted off the lid of a nother beer and downed it. 

"Listen....Jeordie is all I feel like I have left. But I don't have him anymore do I?" I asked, crying

Manson looked saddened by my change in attitude and my tears. He pulled me beside him. "You love Twiggy dont you?" he asked. 

I looked up into his brown eyes and he knew. "I know. Why do you think I know it didn't matter if I fucked up" Manson sorrowed. 

"What? I..." 

"Shh..It doesn't matter. You never said anything. He moved on. You wasted your time on jerks like Maynard and me." 

"He would hav enever been with me anyways" I looked away. 

"I'm not so sure..." 

"Just look at who he's with...please..." I rolled my eyes.

"You're prettier. You're smarter. You've got more confidence than this too. Straighten up" he griped. "Listen. I know you're better than this. Please forgive me" 

"Whatever" I stood up and dropped th elast of a bottle of wine I had almost finished off. "I'm going out. Don't expect me back." 

I grabbed my coat and flipped Manson off. 

****

I walked for what seemed hours in the cold. I could feel my skin turning blue. About 3 blocks over, I could see the top of the theater sign at the building I performed at with A Perfect Circle. Where I found Maynard cheating on me, and my last chance at any kind of career. I trudged my way there, as darkness was creeping up. It must be past ten now. I opened the door as it creaked open. They don't even bother to lock this place up. This side of town is kinda crappy. I'm halfway surprised I didn't get raped or mugged on the way in. That would have been fine with me. Tears soaked from my eyes freely and my hands were chapped from rubbing them away. 

"Maynard" I whispered to myself and it echoed through the building. I made my way backstage and sat on the counter in the dressing room where Maynard had fucked that girl. Where he showed no compassion towards me. Where he changed. No. Where I saw what he really was. A monstor. Or am I? I draw everyone away from me. 

I tugged at my coat. God. It's cold. Maybe I'll freeze to death in here. How ironic. 

I grabbed an eyeliner pencil from the dresser and wrote on the desk. "Disconnect and self destruct one bullet at a time. What's your rush now, everyone will have his day to die." 

I looked around the room and stepped out. I could see the curtain ties high up tied by the catwalk. I went looking for a way up. I climbed my way up some rickety stairs and looked down. It was high up and it was actually colder up here. My fingertips were frozen as I felt thru the dark to grab on to the ties. I grabbed one and reached into my pants to get my pocket knife. I sliced about 2 feet off of the rope and began to tie it around my neck. I triple laced it to make sure that I actually died instead of just breaking my neck and leaving me there. 

I looked out once more towards the entrance and heard the door creak open. I jumped. 

"NO! CARA! NO!" I heard someone say. Jeordie's sweet voice. He found me. Followed me? Knew I'd be here? How?

The rope snapped and so did my neck. I dangled 2 feet above the ground, not dead but barely alive. I heard Jeordie crouched underneath me, sobbing. His shoes squeaked against the floor that his tears fell on. He looked at the bulge in my pants and hurriedly dug his hands around to pull out my knife and jumped up to cut me down. He pulled me into his arms and fell back down to the stage. He pulled out his phone and drastically tried for help.

"SOMEONE HELP ME PLEASE!" His voice was not calm. It was the same high pitched yell from before. "PLEASE....I'M ON MONROE STREET. THE OLD THEATRE. HELP SHE'S DYING. PLEASE." 

Jeordie....