Accepted To Kill

Chapter 9

       The man's eyes seem to stare into my soul.  Perhaps it was a mistake to tell him what I plan to do to my father.  He has no expression, making me uncomfortable.   The silence causes me to shift from one foot to the other.  I look down at the blanket that I dropped and my face turns a deep red.  I look up at the man, "Could I at least have some clothes...?"

      He shakes his head and mumbles something to himself in Spanish that I cannot hear.  He doesn't seem to be too eager to rid me of my humiliation, so I reach down and pick the blanket back up, wrapping it around my shoulders.  The man looks amused.  "So," he says mockingly, "How do you plan on killing your father."

      I narrow my eyes and look up at the ceiling thoughtfully.  I hadn't thought of that.  Guns were messy, knives as well.  Strangulation took too long and was risky.  Feeling like an idiot, I respond to the man's question with, "I don't know."

"You don't know?  Did you not just tell me you were going to kill him?  Surely you had an idea of how."

I sigh and look at my arm that's beginning to swell, "Man I said I don't know.   What would you have me do?"

"You don't have to DO anything to be one of us.  We can help you become a brother by a little bit of pain.  You can prove yourself by being tough and not hesitating to do exactly as I say.  Do you understand?"

I nod stupidly, confounded at this man's angry tone.  If his tone was made of knives, it would cut deep.  There's no messing around with this guy.  He means business.  He leaves the room,  but doesn't shut the door.  Unsure whether I'm supposed to follow or stay where I'm at, I stand there awkwardly. 

   I feel angry at the whole world.  There's no such thing as happiness.  I don't want to be in a gang yet here I am.

A moment later Melvin enters the room holding a bundle of clothes.  He dumps the clothing into my arms and steps back to look at me. 

"Ya know," he says putting his hand on his chin thoughtfully, "I think you'll be just right for the job.  I was told to make sure you put these in your pockets once you're dressed."

He pulls out a small plastic bag filled with little white pills.  As I hurriedly pull my pants up he continues, "You're gonna sell these to who we tell you to.  No talking to anyone else besides those we point out."

I bite my lip and I pull the shirt over my head, my arm seriously stinging.  It still feels hot.  I listen to what Melvin has to say as I get dressed.  Drug dealing?  No way.  I don't plan on going to jail.  He hands me the bag and I take it reluctantly. 

"I don't wanna sell drugs man, I might get caught."

He smiles, "I know, that's why we are having YOU do it, not anyone important.  If you do in fact get caught, know that talking will get you killed.  No doubt about it.  But you see...most the customers are high schoolers, and you're the age of a high schooler.  What school do you go to?"

I sit down on the floor to put on the pair of shoes he had brought in.  I sigh, shutting my eyes as I see blood in my mind everywhere.  I tell him my school and he leaves me alone for a moment.  I need to go back home.  I need to take care of what must be done.  If I'm lucky there will be no cops there just yet.  Chances are nobody called the police.  Nobody ever does in this area.

My mothers body is probably still lying there in the sticky mess. The thought makes my pulse quicken and eyes darken. I hear footsteps coming back down the hallway. Crap...I guess now is the time. I race to the doorway and am about to make a beeline for the exit, when I'm met by the head man. The one everyone is afraid of, the gang leader.

I wasn't planning on seeing him again, especially not after what happened earlier.  I look at my arm.  I look at him.  The man says nothing but grabs my shoulder and just stares at me.  I've never seen such cold, yet painful eyes.  They're dark brown, some might say pretty, but to me they're threatening.  His long dark lashes that encircle his eyes enhance the intensity of his stare.  I look away from his face wondering how much longer he plans on intimidating me. 

"There's a lot you gotta learn boy," he declares breaking the silence that had become unbearable, "and if your plan was to run then perhaps we should teach you what happens to traitors hm?"

I feel the blood drain from my face.  "I...I wasn't runnin...I didn't know where anyone went."

"I'm not stupid," he smiles, seemingly to laugh at my stupidity. 

"No you're not...." I say awkwardly, but meaning every word. 

"Now," he squeezes my shoulder and starts pulling me back into the room, "I have something to teach you."