Accepted To Kill

Chapter 15

I approach the door of where I once lived with building animosity. This place is more evil than hell itself. I lightly touch the frozen handle, turning it slowly. I gasp in surprise when the knob fully turns.

The door lets out a high pitched shriek as I gently use my body to push it inwards. The stench of alcohol hits me as I step into the dimly lit room, lit only by a pale bulb that hangs sticks out from the ceiling. There are empty cans scattered across the floor, stuck in the sinking couch which is stained with lord knows what. It's once brown color is a sickly yellow, it's pathetic existence having had no choice but to succumb to the brutality of my father.

I was a lot like this couch. Worthless, beaten until hideous, dominated, uncared for, and stuck in a life I couldn't get out of. The different between me and this couch was that I could feel, I could fight back against the cards dealt to me. I no longer sit there and take a beating.

I start to walk forward and I wince as my shoe finds a discarded can and it crunches beneath me. I pause, my head starting to spin. Dear God don't let that wake him up. After standing still for a second and hearing no sound coming from anywhere in the house, I proceed with caution towards the room my father sleeps in.

I am not completely sure how I will torture him but anger cares not for rational thinking. I grab a knife from the kitchen counter and find some duct tape in a drawer. I smile to myself as power overwhelms me. It's almost time.

I hear my father from the bedroom as he turns over on the rickety bed frame. My fingers grip the knife tighter as I inch towards the dark room. His face becomes clearer as I get closer and my eyes adjust to the darkness.

As my shadow crawls across the bed and touches my father he begins to stir. He opens his eyes and horror distorts his face as it falls upon mine. Realizing it's me he relaxes and looks curiously at the knife.

"What you doin with that fool? Careful or you might end up like your mother." With a chuckle he sits up in bed.

I bite my tongue in fury, knowing I won't be able to suppress this building passion for long. I wanted to make him suffer and kill him slowly but this growing anger is taking control.

I tighten my fingers on the handle of the knife. "You killed her!"

He sits up and laughs. That whore killed herself Matty, don't be an idiot. She talked about doing it for years and she finally did it that night.

"No," I shout angrily. "You're a liar!!"

The next few moments were like a flash, my body took over and my consciousness shut out any rational thoughts I had left, and my senses disappeared. I became the animal that I hated. I became my worst enemy. I became like my father.

I stumbled out of the house still clutching the knife. Then I just ran. I ran not knowing why or where. Eventually I stopped at the Hex, the blasting music and lights overwhelming my numb senses.

I barge inside and walk straight through the house towards the leaders lair. Normally I wouldn't have been noticed over the noise, smoke and lights but tonight I was not myself. A few smiled at each other when they saw me, others gawked in shock.

The leader turns to look at me when I enter his room without asking. He raises his eyebrows and an amused smirk crosses his face.

"Get in a fight?" he asks smugly.

"No," I say quietly, "but I did leave to..."

"Yes I know," he interrupts, staring at the knife with a look so sharp it could cut deeper than the knife. "You left and didn't tell anyone where you went. I can't trust someone like that. I especially can't trust someone who leaves and comes back covered in blood as you are now. Holding a weapon covered in that blood! You," he pauses for a moment, "are a complete idiot."

I drop the weapon to the floor at it clatters ungracefully. "You are right. I expect I will die now."

I want to die. Now that my father is dead by my hand  I don't have anything to live for. I got vengeance for my mother and now I wish to join her.

The leader crosses his arms and sits down on a sunken couch against the wall. He's watching me closely. "You deserve to die, you right on that. I can't kill ya yet though. I gotta know...what exactly happened to you when you left?"

"I um. I killed him."

"Killed who?"

"My father."

Saying it out loud is freeing. Satisfying. Empowering.  The leader starts to laugh but stops when he sees I am not joking.

"A timid little guy like you killed his father?"

"I would do it again in a heartbeat," I say vehemently.

Satisfaction is obvious on the leaders face and it annoys me. Just kill me already. He just sits there though, not seeming to have any violent intentions whatsoever.

"Matty," he stands and walks towards me shocking me with an embrace, "welcome to the family."