Everlasting Blue (Currently undergoing editorial changes/adding)

Epilogue

Dear Jamie,

I’m sorry that I couldn’t stay, and I’m sorry that I couldn’t say goodbye face to face but it would’ve been to hard. I wouldn’t have been able to say no to you and you would have begged me to stay when I couldn’t. Jamie, I love you but there’s something’s that are just to hard to talk about, especially now. 

I just want you to know that I’m safe wherever I may be, I’m with Shawn and he’ll keep me safe I trust him with my life. Jamie I love you, more than anything but I couldn’t stay, not with dad, not any more. 

The truth is that you were always moms favorite and after you ended up in that coma things weren’t the same at home, I didn’t have you as a buffer anymore so she left. She left me with dad and pretty much just threw me away. Even before that accident things weren’t good at home you just never saw it…but I did, I had too. Mom and dad fought all the time, it was terrible, and the reason we got into that accident was because he had been drinking again. Even if that accident hadn’t happened things probably wouldn’t have been much better.

You and I might have ended up with mom instead, but it wouldn’t have been all that great, at least not for me. But anyway the point of my letter isn’t to bring up the past and upset you, its so that I can tell you that I love you, and that I will never forget you.

You’re my twin Jamie. You’re like my other half, you and I are two parts of a whole and I never thought that I could survive without you but I did, I had to and now I will again. I will write you when I can, I want you to know that I’m safe and what’s going on, but I won’t give you my address I can’t risk you telling where we are and the police coming to find us. Love you as I may I can’t go back home and I won’t, I refuse. I can’t go through the rest of my life living in fear of what could happen in my own home from someone who’s supposed to love me unconditionally. I honestly could go my whole life without seeing mom or dad again and be perfectly happy, but not you, I have to see you again and maybe in the future I will find you, or you me but not now and I’m sorry for that.

I will always love you Jamie you’re my sister, but I have Shawn someone who loves me despite my flaws, and understands what I went through with dad and mom. He may be the only chance I have at love and I wont lose him, I can’t. He is what has gotten me through the past few months, without him, I don’t know where I’d be right now, for all I know I’d be in the hospital if not dead. Shawn saved my life and I want to spend the rest of it with him. Shawn is the only one I know that has ever stood up for me, and protected me even when it put his life in danger.

Jamie, please don’t cry, and please don’t forget me. I will contact you when I can and tell you how I am. I love you, I just want you to know that over anything else. I hope that one day you can forgive me for leaving you like this because I will be forever sorry, but until that day comes I pray that you will find it in your heart to understand why I did this. It may not be what is best for you but for once I have to do what I think is best for me, and that is being with the love of my life, somewhere that I’m not at risk every single day from my own family.

I’m sorry Jamie, I love you but for now this is goodbye. 

Forever Your Twin, 

Lyla.