Seth was in his emo house, in his emo room, looking over his MCR shrine. He was mumbling to himself. "Oh Gerard Way, have my gay babies." he whispered before he heard a loud ding coming from the kitchen. He pulled on his pants and ran downstairs.
When he reached his kitchen, he heard another ding that directed him to his toaster oven. Curiously, the male/female/reptile opened the mini door to look inside. There was some cooked stalker meat inside, making the stalker standing outside of his window nervous.
Kayla swiped the sweat off of her forehead, looking over to the carcass of her dead stalker friend. "Thank god it wasn't me. Live on, Lillith."
Anyway, on the meat was a couple of words, written in who knows what.
"Dear Sethy-poo
I noticed you living alone (besides the multiple stalkers outside) and I feel an uncontrollable sense of attraction towards you. I hope you'll think I'm hot."
"Who is this from? The stalker meat?"
"No you idiot, the toaster oven!" An unknown voice called.
"Hey, no need to be sarcastic. Who even are you anyway? Why are you outside my house?"
"Shhhh, I'm the author of this story. Go back to your (totally not scheduled) romance with the toaster oven so I can get more views!"
Seth sighed and turned away. "This is my life now."
"Oh Sethy-poo, love me! If you're a homosexual I can totally be a guy, I don't really have a gender!" The toaster oven suddenly exclaimed in a feminine voice.
"Actually, I'm pan." Seth replied, fighting the urge to drink bleach.
"The hell you are!" His pan said from his stove. Seth officially wanted to kill himself.
"OK but what the actual hel-"
"I-I love you, senpai. Please accept my affection! Look at my smokin hot body!" The toaster oven begged.
Seth unplugged the oven, hearing the screams from his lover. He brought the oven up to his bedroom, lay it on his bed, and walked away.
He hurriedly cleared off his MCR shrine and began replacing it with a toaster oven shrine.
"I kinda always wanted an actual anime girl... But this is close enough." He grumbled.
So, after he finished his shrine, he lay down with the toaster oven and cuddled close.
Seth Lastname died the next day, after attempting to take a shower with a plugged in toaster oven.
Police are still trying to figure out if he died from suicide or just pure idiocy.
They are also trying to figure out what is wrong with the author. Like seriously. Why.
