Number The Pain

46 6 2
                                    

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1. The first time you left me you said this relationship was toxic ; You needed some space. You also said I would be okay . That it was better this way . I cried so hard I could have filled every ocean , I begged and begged you not to leave me but you insisted it be better off like this . I never believed you because 3 weeks later you were with her and I was alone .


2. I knew the moment you came back it wouldn't last . Your mind was on her and my mind was on the fact that we couldn't have been over . " I'm not good for you and I hope you find someone better . You'll be okay . " that's what you said . I cried rivers , oceans , puddles and lakes . . . But I never begged you to stay .


3. The words , " I don't love you anymore " slipped right off your tongue as if they had been rehearsed millions of times . I remember how your eyes couldn't meet mine , how you looked down and your hands were fumbling with your shirt bottom . I remember how you remained quiet and silently waited for my reply . Nothing came out of my mouth , but a single tear rolled down my cheek . I remember the way you looked up and there was no remorse . I smiled and said , " I understand . " But I don't . . . I never will .


4. You slept with her . . . You slept with her and now you can still taste it . Even though it's been weeks since your fingers have been entwined , months since you were last tangled in her sheets , and a year since you tasted her lips . I'd kiss you and tell you . " It's all fine . " I'd kiss my wounds and say it's fine . Kiss my jealous heart and scream , " It's fine ! " But to be honest , my love was buried under soil and lies .


5. The day I saw you holding hands with her , the girl who took you away ; Who ruined all we had , my heart sank . You didn't notice me , I was no longer of importance . Just another one night stand added to your list . You had promised you would never leave , like a fool I had believed you . Now I'm still reminiscing about you , playing everything you said . It kills me , the promises you made . . . You never meant a damn word .


6. I tried to stop loving you , I built walls around my heart in hopes you wouldn't try and break them down . I found new names to whisper into the darkness . . . But you , you carved your name into my blood , and tainted your lips into my skin . Even if you meant to or not ; Sometimes I wonder if you remember the way we felt . . . Or maybe just maybe you forgot .


7. You said that you loved me, but you never did. You say you love her and you really do. You kissed my lips and said I was the only one. I guess you find your one. You talked about our marriage like we were meant to be. But soon you'll be standing at the altar, just not with me. Every dream you've dreamt, you've dreamt of me. But dreams are only dreams, she is your reality.


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