I admit

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I admit it,  I wanted it to end. To cease to exist and to die;  Are two very different things.  But I knew this, didn't I? 


Some days I would kneel on glass. In lonely black hours, I lit flames to hide my shadow  and drank poison to drown my pain.


But on those off days where instead of  swallowing a fist full of white pills,  instead I would shower. 


The tub would be stained from the blood the night before,  and I would take countless hours .


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