Oswald called me on the phone again. I lifted my pants up over my knees, slapped the bottom of my thigh- *squeak*- and KABOOM I WAS SCREECHING AGAIN
"HELLO OSWALD. I AM SQUUUAAA HOW ARRG YOU?!"
"Eddie, what the fuck? Did you shit bombs again? You know you squeak when you slap yourself after shitting bombs. Did anyone kill themselves?"
"Yas, my mr. boo. It was that ratchet ass mouse. The M.E. YOWZA"
"Dr. Thong-kins is not rachet, we've been over this. But she is a mouse."
"Penguina, I just want you to know that i....."
"YOU WHAT?!" he screeeches happily
"I...love...a neck"
"Ed loves da neck!!!!!!" my boyfran squealz.
We both start screaming a part of Hollaback Girl
"FEW TIMES BEN ROUND DAT TRACK SO ITZ NOT JUST GON HAPEN LIKE DAT!!!!!!!" and that was my day. Lee tooted in her death. Whoop whoop!
-
I went home to my Ozzie, and he was all dressed up for me.
"A WHITE CHESS PIECE, HOW DID YOU KNOW?" I sqeeched.
He was literally dressed as a chess piece. Gorgeous.
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YOU ARE READING
Shitting Nygmobblepot
FanfictionIT'S FUNNY OK, THIS IS WHAT I DO WHEN I'M NOT IN THE MOOD TO WRITE FLUFF- IT RESULTS IN HILARIOUS RANDOM CRAP ABOUT ED AND OS. ENJOY LMFAO
