Shitting Nygmobblepot

YOWZA!

 I tremble and loudly whisper, "AHYUG!" and runs towards Pengy. He looks so fuckin beautiful in that chess piece costume.

"I know you like chess" he says

"Dammmmnn right, boyfran. Yowza... Chess is the kinkiest sport!" Os flushes- he looks like a cute tomato.

"So... you like my outfit, right, Mr. Nygbama?"that name is so kinky . Oswald tries to hide his urge to tap dance.

"I LOVE IT. AND I LOVE YOU. FOR WEARING THAT BOOTYFULL COSTUME. AND MORE."

"Guess wot Eddie?

"WOT??" I asssssskkkkkk

"I lied to you- I'm not in the closet. everyone knows I'm gAY AS FUCK, I just thought that if I said that, you'd stop fucking Jerome in the closet."

"OZZIE THAT WAS ONE TIME, WE ALL HAD TOO MUCH APPLE JUICE. YOU FUCKED JIM!!!"

"At least HE'S MY AGEEEEEEEEEE BOOOIIIIIIII"

THE WAY OSWALD SAID "BOOOIIIIIII" WAS SO HOT. I CAN'T RESIST HIM!

"Lick me, Oswald." SO OSWALD WALKS TO THE PANTRY.

He nearly reads my mind- Os pulls out a box of cinnamon rolls and slobbers on the package.

"No. Protection. Oswald."

"MMK EDNA YOU DON'T HAVE TO SCREAM" He unpackages the dessert and swallows it whole, now choking.

"OS YOU KNOW CHOKING TRIGGERS ME," I screECH. He falls and slides his chess piece butt against the tile like a doge...

OswaldoBae hacks one loud cough up into the air, making the cinnamon roll go WHEEEEE!

As the roll shot into the household's atmosphere, it exploded and turned into billions of tiny fireworks that looked like Harvey Bullock's face.

"YOWZA!" I SCREECHED.
"YOWZELLE!" OSWALD SCREECHED.

"NONONO OS IT'S YOW-ZA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" oh shit I have hiccups oK "IT'S YOWZA NOT YOWZELLE WHAT THE FLOOK ARE YOU, A LYCHEE???"

"LYCHEES ARE LITTLE IDIOTZ" OS SCREECHED.

"MMK I AM GLAD-O WE AGREE-O ..LET'S DANCE." we start tap dancing, Oswald shuffling in his hot chess piece costume.

After we finish dancing, I get the lube. It lathers my hand.

"BOOOOIIIIIIIIII," Os starts, "IT IS NOT SUNNNDDDAAAYYYY"

"YOU ARE CORRECT," I SQUEAL. "IT IS NOT SUNDAY, NOR ARE WE MAKING AN ICE CREAM SUNDAY. WE SHALL MAKE MILKSHAKES WITH THIS LUBE." I originally thought that it might taste delish... but now I'm imagining the milkshake sitting on top of Oswald's chess piece head. The shake, in the glass. Just sitting there.

HOT!!!!

edit, 2020: i apologize to anyone who was put off by the contents of this crack fic. it literally JUST occurred to me, years after writing, that i had problematic content in it, so i decided to edit some things. i was rather uneducated and sheltered years ago. to anyone who may be reading this now, enjoy the rest i guess haha, though it's a bit embarrassing to think i actually wrote this.