Expiration Dates

Aftermath

Michael and I were both worn out and exhausted, but we refused to go asleep. Our life that once seemed picture-perfect collapsed right in front of our eyes, and it was as though we were lost in a desert, unsure of which direction to head anymore. We talked about our future and what we were going to do through the whole night. It was crazy how he could control his anger and hate towards my mother; I almost stabbed her with a kitchen knife in the shoulder, just like how she killed my brother. Michael stopped me and got a deep cut on his cheek, and I cried again like a baby as I begged for forgiveness.

"It's okay," he would tell me, but that didn't stop the guilt that was bubbling inside. How could I be so immature? Michael lost his boyfriend; he's suffering as much as me. I should grow up and stop jumping into action before thinking carefully.

We decided to bury both of their bodies at the graveyard closest from Michael's place. We bought beautiful flowers on our way, and Michael quickly got a tombstone for both of them. I admired his kind and generous heart; it was like he threw all of the hate and anger towards my mother away.

"I'm the one who killed her after all," he laughed bitterly whilst saying that.

"I'm a murderer."

"It was in self-defence!" I told him. How could he label himself as a murderer? "My mother intended to kill Joe. You were just protecting him."

We drove the rest of the way in silence. When we finally arrived, we put both of them in a coffin and buried them significantly far away from each other, knowing that Joe would never want to be close to my mother. Michael looked into Joe's eyes for a long time, never wanting to let go, and he sobbed as he kissed my brother for the last time. I couldn't bury my brother, as I will probably break down in the middle and dig him back up, so Michael had to do most of the work, and I can't thank him enough for being there for me.

"In loving memory of Joseph Savant," I read aloud quietly, placing the bouquet of roses down just in front of my brother's tombstone.

"Loving brother, son, and boyfriend in his lifetime. 1995 June 5th - 2012 October 2nd."

Tears trickled down my cheeks, and Michael walked next to me, placing even more flowers and pictures as he closed his eyes. We stood in silence, and for the first time, I welcomed it. Most of the time, the silence was too loud for me, the voices inside my head somehow finding a megaphone and screaming random thoughts when there's no distraction, giving me too much time to think and feel, but I needed the solitude to recollect the night's event.

After the drive home, we both decided to finally rest and sleep. For the first time since Joe and I moved here, Michael decided to sleep in his own room instead of the couch.

It was 5:00 a.m in the morning and the sun was about to rise.

I closed the curtains to block all of the sunlight that was about to pour in through the window, and slumped against the cushions on my bed as I dropped dead like an empty battery.

When I woke up, George and Elizabeth were at the dining table along with Michael, serious expression on their faces as they discussed something.

"- will be okay."

"No, I can't stay here. What if-"

"Honey, everything will be fine. You didn't-"

Elizabeth saw me approaching, and smiled sadly.

"Good morning, Leigh."

"Good morning, Elizabeth and George," I said as I yawned.

I wonder if Michael had any sleep; despite being tired and all, I woke up only 6 hours later, and it is now few minutes past 11:00 a.m. Judging from his red eyes, I assume he didn't - or couldn't - sleep. I pulled out a seat next to Michael, as I asked what was going on.