Expiration Dates

2014

The most peaceful two years followed after the incident; I lived in my grandmother's house with occasional visits from Sarah and Eric, although it did take me quite a while to feel safe and reassured that my father won't come find me and (possibly) kill me. Michael was sentenced to 4 years of jail time (which I am nothing but relieved of; it could have been worse), and George and Elizabeth would call me every now and then to make sure that I am doing fine. I would tell them that my life is fantastic; I wake up every morning to the beautiful chirping of robins, eat freshly picked berries glistening with dew for breakfast, run around the field with horses, rabbits, chickens, etc, and at night, I gazed up at the stars with Nana, and sometimes she will tell me a lovely story about her and my grandfather. Everything was perfect, except for the constant fear of my father breaking in the house and taking me away.

Two years wasn't long enough, and it was painful everyday to watch Nana slowly but gradually weaken as she struggle to even walk, and she sometimes even forgets her own name because of dementia.

"Nana, can I run around the mountains for a few hours with Mocha?" Mocha was my favourite horse; she had the perfect chocolate brown hair and big black eyes.

"Nana is my name?" She would look at me questioningly.

"No, Samantha Heartwell is your name," I would gently tell her, even if I was panicking inside.

"I'm Samantha..." she would mumble, but even if she forgets who she is every now and then, for some reason she always remembered me.

"Yes, and I am your granddaughter," I would say, but Nana would just smile and whisper: "I know, Leigh, and I love you."

Unfortunately, two years went by quickly, and on April 5th 2014, Nana passed away from lung cancer.

This was when I was ready to die; I didn't care if I it wasn't my time yet, I needed to be free from this misery of losing the people I love. I lost my entire family when I was only 15. This was probably the first time I tried committing suicide in various ways, but failed as I sat in the corner of my room for days, refusing to eat or go outside; there was no one to stop me any more.

It was when I was sitting on a stool in the living room of my grandmother's house, alone, staring out at the window pane as rain poured endlessly; my phone beeped and I jolted as I pushed the call button and answered, "Hello, this is Leigh."

"Leigh, honey, how are you?"

It was Elizabeth, sounding as if she was about to cry.

"We were so worried... you need to come with us. You can't live alone, you're still a child."

"It's okay, really," I said, trying to sound as cheerful as possible. "I-I have everything here and I'm happy; y-you don't have to take care of me." Just a year before Nana passed away, Mocha broke her ankle whilst galloping through the woods, and she also passed away few months after the injury. I didn't have everything, but I didn't want to cause any trouble to George or Elizabeth; bad luck seems to follow me everywhere like a shadow, and I didn't want to make their life as miserable as mine.

"Sweetie, no, you're going to die out there," I know I won't, I replied in my head as Elizabeth continued, "you need an adult, a family; you can come with us."

"Elizabeth, I can't."

"Please, I can't leave you alone just like that," she was sobbing now, and I got lost with words. I was going to tell her that Eric and Sarah can visit me occasionally like they always do (except I ignored their calls and knocks since the day Nana passed away), but both of them were busy with their jobs, and I didn't want to be a burden for them to carry; they have lives too, and Sarah is still very young, only 26 years old - she needs to enjoy her life while she can, not take care of a 15 year old girl who she met two years ago.

"Leigh." The sobbing ceased, and I couldn't hear anything from the other line. I was about to put the phone away, but she spoke again: "Please, at least... move to a house close to us. And you can go to school just like a regular 15 year old girl would."

I didn't know what to say.

"I don't want you to be isolated from everything... please don't push yourself from the people who care about you," she was crying again. "I just want you to have the happy life every family deserves to get," she croaked, as I searched for words. I told her that I will call her when I decide what to do with my life, and that for now I need a few days of plain nothing.

"I promise I will call in no longer than a week," I said. Hearing her sob reminded me of Nana, and I gripped onto my phone tightly as I forced myself to keep talking. "I promise."

"You promise," she said, and I hung up a few minutes later because it was about 2:00 a.m.