Twenty Three

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Her

Seven years ago

"Stop!" Her melancholy voice wafted to the man before her, reaching his red, wind chilled ears. He didn't slow his steps as he walked ahead of her, leaving her more than a few feet behind. She carried her bare feet faster beneath herself to catch up to him. "Explain it to me! How can you just run away?"

He felt her bone chilling fingers grasp the sleeve of his winter coat and he twisted around to catch her tear stained cheeks, the trails they had made frosted over in the cold. He did feel bad for her. He pitied her eyes so full of bewilderment and a longing to understand why he couldn't stay. She wasn't dressed for the weather, her only defense against its wrath a thin, white night dress. He had hoped she wouldn't follow him, but it was her problem to deal with now. "Go home, Jumi." He muttered coldly under his breath. The young man turned to walk away from her.

She picked up her pace again and called out to him. "Tell me why!"

She really didn't know how to let go of anything. He knew she would be hard to dismiss, but he didn't love her like she wanted him to and he had found his hearts desires in another woman. She had been nothing but a means to pass the time and he didn't want to deal with the mess that his departure would leave behind. The raven haired man sighed into the night air, creating clouds that drifted above his head. He stopped and let her confront him.

"Tell me why." She repeated the words and her breath was quick as she finally came to stand before him. "What did I do wrong?"

He dropped his head down, frustrated and eager to leave her to her miserable suffering alone. He didn't care to give her an answer, because she wouldn't except it anyway. She wasn't leaving him with another choice. He looked to her bare feet and scoffed. "So careless." His tone was lacking emotion as he scolded her for her absence of footwear. "You are going to catch a cold."

She scrunched her toes under his stare and he lifted his head to meet her eyes again. "Why?" She whispered.

"I don't love you, Jumi." He replied. He didn't love her. He didn't care for her much at all. The short time they had spent as a pair, he didn't treasure those memories. He didn't miss her when she wasn't beside him. "I found somebody else, I love her."

Her eyes swelled with another onslaught of tears, warm as they fell from their makers and drying coolly to her cheeks before they could reach her chin. "You don't love me?" She choked. "You said you loved me."

"I lied." He brushed his jet black locks of hair from his forehead, revealing his expression of annoyance in detail. "Give up on me. Go home and forget."

"Forget?" She squeaked. She could almost hear it cracking as her heart broke in her chest. All of the air in her lungs evaporated and she struggled to take in a shivering breath. He sighed in front of her and shook his head.

"Goodbye, Jumi." The man took one more glance at her shaking form, her long, straight hair surrounding her shoulders in a way that he might have found beautiful once before. Her pale face reflected the moonlight and her frail, thin body quaked in the cold. Her beauty was obvious to him, her figure that curved in all of the right places had served him it's purpose. He was aware that he had used her for his own satisfaction and she had let him, because to her, he was the man she loved. His lies had gotten him free access to unlimited pleasure. With just three little words, I love you, she was his. He never meant it.

He pushed passed her, hitting her shoulder as he did. He didn't look back to watch her as he left.

The concreted sidewalk felt like ice under her knees as she fell to the ground. She clutched at the cold stone beneath her hands and let the anguish rack her small frame. "Why." She cried, but her voice was gone. She stayed for a while, curling into a ball on the filthy sidewalk. She let her thoughts comfort her, her memories let her feel his warm fingers on her lips before he meshed his lips onto them. She felt his body on top of hers, she could hear his heated whisper in her ear. 'I love you.'. It was fading away as the cold slithered into her veins.

She picked herself up off of the ground and waited until her feet could move again. Her apartment was close she realized as she looked around at her surroundings. She padded down the empty sidewalk and up the flight of stairs to reach her dimly lit hallway. Her door to her apartment was open, she must have left it that way.

Inside, a low light was gleaming from the kitchen. The hood light over the stove. She always left it on when she left home for work, knowing that returning to a completely dark apartment was always a dreary feeling. But that was all she could feel now. She let the door close behind her and she followed the dim glow into the kitchen.

Minutes could have passed by, but to Jumi, they had felt like hours. His absence was already overwhelming her being. She wanted to wake up from the nightmare, but she knew it was real. He was gone, faded away from her life. The only person that she had ever loved and had ever loved her back was gone and it had all been a lie. It was a sick, twisted facade to sway her into bed.

She loved him, still as she pulled open a drawer in front of her. Metal clattered, loud in the tiny kitchen. Her dainty, cold fingers gripped the heavy knife in her hand as she lifted it from its drawer. She placed the sharpened blade to her wrist.

Jumi knew that nobody would find her, at least not for a while. She had time to die, to let go of the pain that consumed her. Without him, she was alone. Nobody would save her anymore. Happiness was a lost cause. He had been her last, her only hope for release. Her time was expired.

The soft scraping of steel against her paper white skin rang clear in her ears. She watched the crimson red seep from her self inflicted wound. "Bleed." She whispered. She moved quickly to repeat the same action on her other wrist with a shaky hand before her vision faded into black.

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