Some fucked up poetry

Describe him

He has brown eyes with a bit of dark green, special ones, filled with emotion. He's eyes saw too much he couldn't handle. When he looks at you, you get lost in them. You forget all your troubles and from that moment you know you need them. His mind is a mess, and I guess when it gets too much he leaves. Not for him but for you. He knows too much and there happened too much his mind can't handle. But it stays in there. His voice is some cozy winter sound but also the only thing you need. He's words are so real, filled with emotions and passion. You believe them, even when they're all lies. Sharing your story with him feels like a summer morning. Calm, relieved, the feeling of the sun that shines lightly on your face when you wake up and the sound of the morning birds. Loving him was like painting. You get to know your painting better. You get to know the story and what the colours mean. You love with the passion of a painter. But the breaking feels like a thunderstorm although you couldn't love him long, because there happens a lot of shit in his life. It feels like falling apart, like drowning. And the worst is that you can't forget about him. His words are still on your mind. His kisses are still pressed on your lips. His eyes are still caught up in yours. His touching is still on your skin, but you can't scrub it of. And you try to forget but he won't leave.
Then you lose him like eyelashes. Slowly and then all at ones. First you lose the feeling of his arm around you, the feeling you felt save in. You try to have it back at 2am when you're laying in your bed but you can't fall asleep because of the thought of him leaving, not only his reality but also all what's left of him. You lose his eyes, the feeling of a dream, you get all the feelings back that were lost when you looked in them. You slowly forget the color of his eyes and you try to draw them, so you can keep them, but it looks like shit. Than you forget how it felt to kiss this messy soul, this soft but deep lips. You cry because you know it's over. You know he's gone for ever. Although he says he still loves you but that you don't need to wait on him. But that he would be said if you would be with someone else. You keep holding on. You keep waiting on that dickhead that first let you fall for him but than leaves you. You lost everything of him. So you send him a message you keep holding on. You should forget him, you know that too. You keep holding on to him, not only because you love him but also because your rather have the darkest parts of him then nothing.
Now you still stand a bit close to him, but when you let go, when you give up. You know There is nothing left of him.
You can't grab back. And you have nothing of him left inside of you. Nothing left of the person who let you felt okay. Who was going to catch you when you fall, before he left you. Who gave you butterflies and made your mind lighter.
It's all gone his eyes, his lips, his arms around you, the talks, the feeling when you wake up with the morning sun shining on your face and the sound of the morning birds. Now you wake up with tears on your face and a wet pillow.
You don't hear the birds in the morning but the thunder and the rain at night.