Max, Ashley, Marykay, and Brownie

The First Meeting

Narrator: One day, in a far (really far, like, another galaxy) away land, there was a family of four aliens that breathed bubble gum. JK! In the land of stuffed animals, there was a family of four. Ashley, Max, Marykay, and Brownie. Ashley and Max were happily married (NOT) with two kids, Marykay and Brownie. One was way TOO imaginative and gave himself a code name: BOP (Brownie, Ow, Poo). Don’t ask me where that came from. While the other was way TOO girly, I mean she’s like 9 years old and watches My Little Pony while playing with Barbie’s. Marykay (MK) is actually…well, SMART while BOP is not dumb, he is just not that bright. Let’s start from when Ashley just met Max…on a dating site…

Narrator: When Ashley was 20…

Ashley: Hmmm… well since I don’t have any work to do, I’m going to go on the Computer. Oooo…I’m going to try a dating site.

Narrator: Here is her profile listing…

Name: Ashley Stuart

Hobbies: Spelling

Good at: Spelling and Reading

Hate: Dumb people pretending to be smart

Comments: I want a guy who’s smart

Ashley: Ahh…done!

Narrator: Ashley looked at other profiles

Ashley: Who is Elbert Anstein? Sounds cute!

Name: Elbert Anstein

Hobbies: Eiteng (eating)

Good at: Spilleng (spelling) and Eiteng (eating)

Hate: Enbintemg (inventing)

Comments: E feil drumk…(I feel drunk)

Ashley: Oooo, looks great for me! He is just so good at spelling. Now I know how to spell eating as eiteng. I’ve always thought it was eating. Oh well.

(The next night)

Ding-dong!

Ashley: AHH! He’s here! Spotty, answer the door! I’m freaking out!

(Spotty answers the door)

Spotty: Hi…you’re Elbert Anstein? HA HA HA HA HA HA!

Max: Yes…I leke teuo see melady, uhhh, Ashlee (he was speaking in a weird accent)

Spotty: ASHLEY, YOUR…DATE IS HERE!

Ashley: Hi, you must be Elbert, I’m Ashley.

Max. Heelooo Melady Ashlee

Ashley: Uh… it’s Ashley

Max: Okay Ashlee, I know, I know

Ashley: Uh…

Max: Me name it Max

Ashley: Oh, ok…WAIT A SECOND…YOU’RE NOT ELBERT!!! GET OUT!

Max: Sorry…Elbert is actually me…

Ashley: Well, I mean you can come…GET OUT!

Narrator: Max sadly walks away.

Narrator: The next day…

Ashley: Well, that wasn’t promising, I’m going to try a new dating site, how about the site my niece Lily recommended me… www.becomeasinglenomore.com. Oooo, who is this? Hmm, Tuylor L.? Let me see!

Name: Tuylor L.

Hobbies: Workeng Owte (working out) ende (and)

liarmeng (learning) ende (and) spiileng (spelling)

Good at: Spiileng (spelling) and wurkeng owte (working out)

Hate: Turkeng spiileng tists (taking spelling tests)

Comments: I feil drunk (I feel drunk)

Ashley: sounds a little familiar some how…oh well, sounds good!

Narrator: The next night…

Ding-dong!

Narrator: Ashley opens the door

Ashley: Hi…wait a minute, it’s you again! From last night! GET OUT NOW!!!! AND STOP LYING ABOUT YOUR NAME!!

Narrator: Ashley slams the door in Max’s face.

Ashley: I can’t believe it was him again! I’m going to try a different dating site. Oooo, this guy looks good!!

Name: Max Brainiac

Hobbies: Spelin (spelling)

Good at: Spelin (spelling) and Redin (reading)

Hate: Tists (Tests)

Comments: Me is goud at spelin (I am good at spelling) I gruduted fom Havid (I graduated from Harvard)

Ashley: Looks cute, but familiar. I’m going to ask him out!

Narrator: The next night at the date

Ashley: Hi…you look familiar…wait, you’re that other guy!!!!

Max: Please let me take you out!!!!!!

Ashley: Fine, but only because you didn’t lie about your first name this time

Narrator: At the Grand Carousel…

Ashley: Let’s go sit over here

Max: Wow, you are so beautiful!!!

Ashley: …Thanks, I think

Max: Umm…before we go on… I didn’t “gruaduaded” from “Harvid”

Ashley: What! You liar!

Max: I knew it, I’ll never get a date…

Ashley: I never said I didn’t like you anymore…

Max: Really?!? Anyways, what do you want to eat?

Ashley: Hmm…shrimp cocktail…

Max: Umm…(thinking)*I only have $2 left!*…Okay… how much is water?

Waiter: $1

Narrator: Max sadly got two cups, one for Ashley and one for himself. Ashley noticed he was only drinking water

Ashley: Aren’t you going to eat?

Max: Um…I’m not hungry…*Grrrrrowwwl*

Ashley: Oh really?

Max: Yeah…

Ashley: I have $23, I’ll buy something for you!

Max: Okay! I want raw deer meat extra extra extra rare

Ashley: Okay…that sounds delicious…

Max: I know!

Waiter: That will be $23…plus tax

Narrator: Ashley glares at Max…

Narrator: Present time…

Mom: That’s how I met your dad

MK and BOP: WOW!

Narrator: They turn to dad

MK and BOP: HA HA!

Dad: What do I have to do with this?