Guilt ✹ Tracob

15

"Troye.... I have said it so many times now.... but each time I do, it makes it have a stronger meaning. You're my one and only..... My true love..... You're the love of my life, and I don't think I'd still be around if I didn't have you. So..." Jacob pulled out a small box from his pocket, and knelt down. My hands shot up to cover my mouth in shock. "Troye Sivan Mellet.... will you marry me?"

Tears started pouring from my eyes as I nodded violently. He slipped the ring onto my finger, and stood to hold me in his arms as the lights brightened again. The people in the restaurant started to cheer for us, and Kayla and Kerri were tearing up at our table.

"I told you he'd say yes.." Kerri said to Jacob when we walked back over.

"You knew?" I asked.

"We both did. That's one reason why we came out here.. that and to hang out for the weekend.." Kayla smiled. "Let me see the ring!" I shakily reached over the table to show her the ring, as Jacob held me in his arms.

"God, I love you so much..." He smiled then turned my head towards him for a kiss. "Troye... Sivan... Bixenman..." Jacob blushed.

"Mister and Mister Bixenman.." I giggled. "It sounds perfect.."

/

October 28th, 2015

"Wow..." I heard him say from the altar as I walked towards him. I stood in front of him, nervous but ready to make him my forever.

/

"Troye... I still can't believe I was lucky enough to have you in my life.." Jacob said his vows. "You're the dream husband I've always wished for... And my dream is coming true today. It's crazy to think that we could've been done... we could've let what happened between us ruin the beautiful moments we spent together.... but now.... None of that matters. None of that matters because you are my one and only, and I'm so madly in love with you.." He blushed. "Words cannot describe how much... I love you..."

"Jacob..." I smiled. "I thought long and hard about what I would say on this day... but I could only think of one thing.." I took his hands in mine. "The truth runs wild... like a tear down a cheek. Trying to save face, and daddy heart break. I'm lying through my teeth."

"This voice inside has been eating at me.
Trying to replace the love that I fake with what we both need.." Jacob joined me. "The truth runs wild like kids on concrete. Trying to sedate my mind in its cage, and numb what I see."

"Awake, wide eyed... I'm screaming at me. Trying to keep faith and picture his face staring up at me.." The guests started singing with us.

"Without losing a piece of me... How do I get to heaven? Without changing a part of me...How do I get to heaven?" They sang. I finished the song.

"All my time is wasted. Feeling like my heart's mistaken, oh.... So if I'm losing a piece of me..Maybe I don't want heaven?" I sang. "I love you baby..." I smiled.

/

"I now pronounce you.... Mister and Mister Bixenman... You may kiss.." The priest said, and Jacob kissed me passionately as our guests started screaming with joy.

"I can't believe it.." Jacob blushed when we broke away. "You're all mine..."

"I've always been all yours.." I smiled.

"No... You're officially all mine.." He took my hand as we walked back down the aisle.

/

When we stood in front of our guests and threw our flowers, Tyler and Connor caught them. I smiled as they turned to look at each other, and as they started blushing... Jacob wrapped his arm around my waist.

"I love you so much, Troye..." He whispered, and my heart fluttered as if it was the first time he had ever said that.

/

In the following year, Jacob and I moved to New York after filming my music video for HEAVEN. Kayla offered to be a surrogate when it came to the time to settle down. She gave birth to our beautiful daughter, and the other love of my life, Lia Sivan Bixenman. Kayla ended up moving to New York with Kerri to be closer to us, and so Lia could grow up with her mum around. Sage moved back to our home town of Johannesburg, South Africa, and Tyde started YouTube full-time.

"Things really turned out well for us..." Jacob said as we laid together in our bed. His arm was wrapped around my neck, my head resting on one of his pecks.

"Between my music career.... your modeling.... and Kayla and Kerri being next door.." I said. "And Lia... It has.."

"You know.... If it wasn't for that livestream you had that I watched, and the tweets I sent afterwards.... I don't know if we would've met.." He said.

"Um.... I think we would.." I giggled.

"You think so?"

"I know so..... It was meant to happen.." I sat up to look him in the eyes. "Everyone deserves to find love, whether it's a girl and a boy.... two girls.... or two boys.... Everyone deserves to find someone that makes them feel whole. I was an empty shell before I met you...." I said. "And you made me feel perfect.... like I was worth something.."

"Because you are..." He cupped my cheek in his hand. "You've always been perfect... at least in my eyes."

"I believe in love at first sight..." I blushed. "And I've never had someone look at me the same way you do...."

"Of course.." Jacob smiled. "Every morning and every night... every moment I see you... it's like the very first time.." He kissed me passionately as I felt more and more vulnerable in his arms.

"Shit.." I giggled, hearing Lia start crying.

"I'll take care of her...." He smiled. I followed him to the nursery. Jacob reached into the crib to pick Lia up, and held her in his arms. I wrapped my arms around Jacob, my hand brushing Lia's light brown hair.

"She's such a angel..." I smiled at Lia, then at Jacob who kissed me again. Lia was still crying, but stopped crying when we kissed. She laid in Jacob's arms and simply stared at us, wondering.

"Do you think she's questioning?" Jacob giggled.

"She'll understand when she's older.." I smiled, resting my head on his shoulder.

~