Miss All American

Chapter 5

Chapter 5

“Class dismissed!”

Inayos ko kaagad ang mga gamit ko, binalik ang notebook at ballpen sa bag at naghanda na para pumunta sa sunod na klase.

Hindi ko na hinintay si Ariella. Una sa lahat, alam kong tatanungin niya ako tungkol sa eksena kanina, at iyon nga ang iniiwasan ko. Pangalawa, pagkatapos ng nangyari kanina ay wala na akong gustong kausapin. Para akong nawalan ng gana, and people must’ve think I’m weird for running away like a stupid idiotic person.

“Tiff! Wait for us!” I heard Ariella called out, but I didn’t even looked back. I exited the room straight away.

Nang makalabas ay mukhang nakakuha pa ako ng atensyon. Everyone started whispering again while looking at me. Naririnig ko ang iba at in Filipino pa sila mag-usap, thinking I won’t understand them.

Nasa locker room na ako at mas madami ang students doon dahil oras na para pumunta sa sunod na mga klase

I kept my head low as I walked to my locker. I unlocked and placed my books inside. Kinuha ko ang mga libro na gagamitin namin sa sunod na klase.

“Siya ‘yung transferee? Maganda siya…”

“Baka nagandahan nga si Eason sa kaniya. I mean, she is beautiful.”

Oh, my God.

I had enough of it. Kaunti nalang at mapuputol na ang pasensya ko. What’s with that guy I bumped into and everyone is going crazy about it? Lahat nalang! If he was a normal student, the topic should’ve subsided by now, pero hindi! If I had attracted everyone’s attention since my first day, it’s even worse now.

I need to know who that guy was so I can be at ease and it will be easy for me to know who to avoid. I need to know the people that I need to avoid so that my life in this university will be normal as anyone’s.

“Tiffany!” Nilingon ko kung sino ang nagtawag sa akin, at nakita kong si Ariella iyon kasama si Wenna.

Tumayo lang ako doon at hinihintay na makalapit sila. Ariella can help me with what I need to know… Matagal na siya dito, she knows everyone. She’s also famous.

“Bakit mo kami iniwan doon?” reklamo nito habang hinihingal pa.

I pretended like I didn’t understand her question. “Why are you gasping?”

“I was looking for you! Why did you leave me behind?” rinig ko ang pagtatampo sa boses niya.

“I just needed to get some stuff…” I lied, although it was true, I really needed to get some stuff, but it’s not the reason why I walked away earlier.

“I was calling you. You could have waited for me so that we can go here together.”

Hindi ko na siya pinansin pa. Ariella and Wenna went to their lockers as I wait for them.

Sa sobrang dami nangyari ngayong araw, tuwing may dumadaan, parang gusto ko nalang mawala. I’m not thinking if these was all a good idea because I’m regretting everything now.

If I want to be known, if I want to interact with people, I don’t like it to be this way. Not like this. Hindi ‘yung sa bawat sulok, bawat daan ko, or kahit na malayo ako ay ako ang topic ng kanilang kwentuhan. It’s creeping me out knowing that people are talking about me, maybe not in a positive way, maybe making fun of me and a lot of things.

“Let’s go?” I snapped out of my thoughts when Ariella spoke.

They are already prepared for our next class. Ariella was holding her A4 Binder and she was trying to put it in her bag.

Tumango na ako at nauna na maglakad papunta sa sunod naming klase.

And as expected, a lot of people keep staring at me. Hindi lahat ay na-witness ang nangyari kanina, but they definitely heard it right away. Mukhang sikat naman kasi talaga ‘yung nakabangga ko kaya ganito sila maka-react.

University has a lot of drama.

“About earlier… Do you want to talk about it?” Simula ni Ariella habang naglalakad kami. Wenna is quiet beside her.

“I’m not in the mood,” sabi ko nalang. She nodded like she really understand where I’m coming from.

“Punta na ako sa isa kong klase. Bye!” paalam ni Wenna. Ariella waved to her and I nodded to her.

At ngayon, kaming dalawa na nga lang ni Ariella.

I’ve got to admit that out of all the people I got to know, Ariella is the only person I trust the most.

I hate how the word trust kills me. It’s a slow killer to my system. Ang banggitin lang ay para akong kinakatay. Something in me is rejecting the idea that I’m starting to trust someone besides my family.

“Can you speak any Tagalog words?” Ariella randomly asked.

This was the moment that I’m already thinking whether should I just tell her that I can understand and speak their language like a pro, or continue with the act, pretend that I’m ignorant.

But I have to make up my mind in just a few seconds.

“Of course,” I said and I cursed in my head.

Shit.

“Really? Tell me what do you know!” she exclaimed excitedly.

Ano nga ba ang posibleng alam kong Tagalog words, phrases, or sentences kung hindi ako fluent? Siguro mga karaniwang salita lang.

“I know salamat, mahal kita, and mabuhay!” I said, with a funny tone and she laughed out loud.

“Common words. Do you want me to teach you? Our language is a bit easy to learn. I can be your exclusive teacher!”

I agree. In fact, I’ve learned your language in just a few months. Baka nga mas magaling pa ako mag Filipino kay Ariella. She grew up in a golden spoon, the language they use in their house is English. While my first language is English, I didn’t have any trouble learning the Filipino language because they use the same alphabet as the english one. Unlike some other languages where they have other alphabet.

“That will be fun, Ariella. Thanks for the offer,” I kindly told her and accepted her offer. “Though I’m kind of already familiar with your language. I know a lot of words now, and I can understand a bit so I know you won’t have a hard time with me.”

“I know I won’t have a hard time with you. You’re a fast learner, Tiffany.”

We never spoke of the scene I had with the guy. I don’t know his name, and if I ask about him to Ariella, the topic will be brought to life again and she’ll interrogate me. I don’t want that and as much as possible I’ll just ignore all the whispers and talking in the university.

The internet seems to be a good idea to find mister blue eyes. I don’t know but all I remember is his blue eyes. I remember staring at his eyes and I forgot that I bumped into him, I keep staring at his eyes. Ang mata lang niya naalala ko. I forgot how he really looked but I remember thinking that he’s really, really good looking.

I took my laptop out from my bag and let it start. I was alone in the library and it’s our break time. I was with Ariella and her gang but I told them I had better plans for this time, they want to join me but they don’t like libraries.

Riley explained that they are banned in the library. Although I was shocked, I couldn’t help but giggle when they told me that the last time they were here, they tried so hard to keep it low with all the talking, until Wenna and Ariella broke into a female petty fight which lead them to be kicked out of the library— the six of them, and they can’t go inside until there is a new librarian in charge.

As much as I want to join them, I want peace and quiet. They’re loud as heck, no doubt that they were banned from the library. It’s disrespectful of them to cause chaos in this peaceful place. There are a lot of readers, students, and teachers that are busy with their stuff in here, and it’s a shame to make a noise because they’ll be distracted and that’s embarrassing.

I searched for any files in this university or any old articles. Anything I can find about the guy. But it keeps leading me to unsafe sites with popping ads that say I won an iPhone and an iPad.

Nagpapatawa ba sila? They can keep their prizes, I’m already an Apple user since I was in junior high.

But any way, there were old articles about the university’s ranking, eligibility and effectivity as a institution for learning and education. They ranked 99th world wide, and that’s unbelievably amazing! There are thousands, or even millions of universities in this world, and out of all that, they landed in ninty-nine? How amazing this school is.

I hope they improve more, because I’m not liking how the students behave in here. They should learn how to mind their own business and stop talking about other people.

I was scrolling down when I found an article about a specific band named Tenth Avenue. It’s about their latest inside mini concert that happened last year. And naalala ko na binanggit ni Jessica ang Tenth Avenue.

This is the band that I enjoyed listening from her. Maganda nga ang boses ng lead vocalist nila.

I opened the article and reviewed it. And what are the odds? Dito lang sila nag-aaral sa unibersidad na ito, at college na sila.

I clicked on the search bar and searched for their band. I made sure to include the word band dahil baka ang lumabas ay ‘yung train sa NYC. That story still gives me shivers whenever I hear it. I even dreamed about it when I was little.

They released an extended play just recently and had a mini concert inside the school. Dito lang din sila sumikat, they post their covers on YouTube and people from the outside heard about them and they’re excited about them getting a record deal so that they can release more music and tour around the country.

This school is amazing for letting them do these mini concerts.

Pumasok sa isip ko ang sinabi ng kaklase ko noong unang araw ko dito. He thought I’ll like the trio. And it clearly states in the article I opened that the Tenth Avenue is often called as the trio. They are consists of three members, which are named Eason Abriam, Camdem Angeles, and Rocket Nuevas.

I went for the Google photos, nanlamig agad ako nang makita ang mukha ng isa. He was the guy I bumped into…

Siya si Eason Abriam! The lead vocalist and lead guitarist of Tenth Avenue!

Kaya pala ganoon nalang ang reaction nang lahat after I bumped this guy. He was really famous. Walang hindi kilala siya because they’re not just good looking but they’re extremely talented— said in the article, not by me.

Oh my God.

Now I’m more convinced that some people are talking negatively about me. I bumped into the guy they adore. Suddenly, nakaramdam ako ng takot na magbukas ng Facebook or Instagram dahil baka kumalat na ang eksena namin ng lead ng Tenth Avenue.

I closed my laptop and my eyes. I sighed and muttered to myself, making sure that no one will hear it but me.

Bakit sa dinami-dami, siya pa? Now, everyone knows me, because I bet that everyone knows what happened. If he has a large fanbase, everyone will hear of the scene I made.

Pumasok sa isip ko ang iba’t ibang klaseng posibleng iniisip nila patungkol sa akin and I can’t help but groan. Narinig iyon ng librarian na di Ate Esther kaya sinaway niya agad ako.

“Keep it down!” she hushed me and I stood up in embarrassment.

I fixed my things to my bag and left the library to think of my life decisions even more. Pwede pa naman ako siguro mag back out? I’ll go back to my box and just continue my life back in NYC.

At least there, they already know a percent about me. I’m Tiffany Mosheyev, weird, different, and unique. If unique is the right term to describe me.

Pagka-tapak ko palang sa labas ay nadatnan ko kaagad sina Ariella na nag-aabang sa labas ng library. When they saw me, they went to me and I looked at them in confusion.

“We already finished eating. We’re just waiting for you so we can spend the last minutes before we go to our respective classes!” sabi ni Riley at tumango naman ang iba bilang pagsang-yon sa sinabi niya.

“How long have y’all been waiting?” I asked in surprise. They waited for me to finish inside? That’s…

“Just enough time before you leave that place…” Ariella said and eyed the library’s door with full digust.

“So, let’s go?” aya ni Hailee at sumunod na kami sa kaniya.

“Where are we going?” I asked them.

“To Tenth Avenue’s band rehearsal!” sagot ni Fatima and I stopped from my tracks.

They all stopped walking to and looked at me in confusion.

“Uhm…” I hummed, thinking of an excuse not to come with them. I can’t go! Eason— the man I bumped into is their lead vocalist and guitarist! I don’t think I have a face to show him after what I did. I acted like he had some kind of infection.

“What’s the matter, Tiff?” nag-aalalang tanong ni Ariella at nilapitan ako.

She put her hands in my shoulders. Inaakbayan niya ako.

“I can’t go with you guys, I’m sorry…” sabi ko, I made it sound like I was regretful and disappointed.

“But why?” Fatima asked while pouting a little.

“I have to call my parents,” I said pointing to my phone that I was holding.

“You can call them now, we’ll wait for you!”

I smiled and nodded. I turned my back at them and when I know they can’t see my face, I closed my eyes and acted like I was about to call my parents, kahit na hindi ko naman talaga sila tatawagan! They’re probably sleeping today, and I’m bothering them with my stupid alibi, thinking It’ll fix my issue.

Hindi ko na sana papatagalin pa ang tawag, kumbaga missed call lang pero wala pang tatlong ring ay sinagot na agad ng mother ko ang tawag ko.

I looked back to Ariella and her friends, they’re casually talking to each other, not looking at me, they’re patiently waiting for me to finish my call.

I have enough distance against them and I’m sure they won’t hear me.

“Tiffany! What’s wrong? Why are you calling at this hour?” she started, with her concerned tone.

“Mom, it’s literally afternoon here.”

“And it’s still dark in here. Why are you calling? Are you in trouble?”

I shook my head, as if she can see it. I looked back to Ariella’s and sighed.

“I don’t like it here anymore, mom…” I whispered, afraid that they’ll hear me.

“How’s your day?” she asked.

“Terrible,” the only thing I replied. She knows what’s next with terrible so I didn’t bother to tell her more than that.

“Do you want to come back here?” she asked in a soft voice.

I sighed again and closed my eyes while my phone was pressed against the side of my face.

“I don’t know… I don’t know if it’s the language difference or the country, but people here seem to be harder to understand than I expected. I thought if I already knew the language, it will be easy for me, but it keeps getting complicated for me.”

Why are people so… nosy? Why can’t just everyone mind their own. I’m so sick and tired having to watch my own steps just so everyone doesn’t have to look at every step I make. I’m so sick and tired of minding my own, and everyone around me can’t do it.

“They’re looking at every move I make that even a slight mistake, everyone will be talking, and will make fun of me. I’m so tired of overthinking about everyone’s thoughts and judgement.”

“Then stop doing so.”

“You know I can’t…”

“Listen carefully, okay honey? Are you listening?” she said.

“Yes, I can hear you properly.”

“Focus on your goal. No matter what happens in life, as long as you don’t step on other people’s gown, as long as you don’t rain on someone else’s parade, then you’re good. Never ever let anyone ruin you and your goals. If they still keep pushing you down, push harder. Your goals and dreams, together with your cooperation is much more stronger than them. If you can’t understand them anymore, understand yourself. You already know what to do…”


I know what to do.

I know it. I just don’t know how to do it.

When I decided to move here to the Philippines, all I have in my mind is that I need to succeed, I need to prove that I can be normal again, I’ll let people in again.

“Do you know Tenth Avenue, Tiffany? Their songs are amazing!” Hailee said in a dreamy voice.

No matter how I avoid people, I need them in this life time. I can’t keep living like I’m far from being like them. I’m human too and everyone is capable of staying and keeping my trust not broken. I just need to have a better judgement.

“She’s absentminded…”

Focus on the goal. A advise that is so totally overused and common, but still meaningful and helpful because I really need to focus on the goal.

It’s not like I’m broken and shattered into pieces, but there’s something wrong with me. I went to the Philippines to help myself. I don’t want anyone helping me in this one, but come to think of it, I really need help… From people.

“I know this Tenth Avenue,” I replied to them when they keep telling me all about the band.

Right… I need to let people in and know more about me. If they decide that I’m too hard to help, then I’ll let them go away. I’ll only let inside people who understands me and are willing to be a part of this world. It starts there… It starts here, this is the start of helping myself by letting anyone help me.