Spaces H.S

Chapter 34

Once In a Lifetime you were mine...

♥♥♥

Today was the day I had been desperately trying to push away for the past three days.

Carter's funeral.

I had been ask to write a speech and I didn't want to at first, it would just make things seem more real and I didn't want to cry in front of everyone, but I wanted to share my stories with Carter to everybody else and let everyone know that I was, and still am, in love with Carter.

So I sat at my desk at 2am on Saturday morning, writing and writing about my beautiful girlfriend who I had fallen so deeply in love with. Every thought, every feeling, every adventure and every second we spent together. I poured my heart into this speech but I still kept our secrets locked away.

The funeral was four hours away and I had yet to get ready. My mum was buying roses from the shop but I wanted to get my girl the best flowers there were, so I woke up earlier to get some myself.

I quickly pulled on my jeans and a grey hoodie before putting on my converse and walking downstairs, grabbing my phone on the way out. I drove to a shop me and Carter would always pass on our walks to the park every now and then.

I pulled onto the side of the road and walked into the florist. The woman at the desk was cutting the stems off of a bunch of flowers, she smiled when I walked in. "Hello, sir." She smiles.

I half smile, not really in the mood to talk, and look around at the range of flowers. "Where's the lovely girl I usually see you with then?"

I turn to look at her and try to stop my tears. She's dead. "She's not here at the minute. She's gone away for a while..." I lie.

"Who are the flowers for then?" She wonders and I almost snap, not thinking that it's any of her business.

"There for her. She's coming back home today and I wanted to buy her some flowers." I lie again. I wish she was coming back home but I know she will never come back.

"Well, what type of flowers does she like?" She asks and puts the flowers she'd been cutting down on the desk. I contemplate on what flowers Carter did like and remember that she had a vase of tulips in her bedroom. I figured getting her a different type of flower would be perfect because everyone would probably get her roses.

"She loves tulips." I say and she leads me to where the different coloured tulips are. I look through the many different colours and decide on getting her yellow ones.

"Are you sure? Yellow symbolises friendship." She quirks her eyebrow.

I nod, "She's my best friend as well as my lover." Her grin gets bigger and she takes them to the desk, cutting off the stems and wrapping them up into a bouquet.

"I hope she likes them." She says and I thank her for her help.

The drive home is long, due to the long traffic jams but I get there eventually and have three hours left until the funeral starts. I walk upstairs and put the tulips on my desk and lie on bed, staring at my black suit hung up on my wardrobe.

Mum said that today was important because I could get closure but I didn't want closure I wanted Carter. If she was here right now we would be talking about anything and everything. We would be cuddling up on my bed, my face buried in her hair as she fiddles with my fingers with her tiny hands and telling me how much she loves me and vice versa.

I feel like someone has punched a hole straight through my heart and there's no one to fill it besides Carter and she's not here anymore.

Why did she have to go?