My dear boss Zayn

Hints

The weird feeling in my stomach that I used to feel before going to work had now disappeared, mostly. I appreciated Mr. Malik's delicate attention and it made me see him in a different way, a more soft way let's say. I started to think that Angelo was right, maybe he's not what he seems to be at all.

Maybe he's hiding behind a mask, where nobody can find him and see his real face.

Though, even if I started to see him from another point of view, I could still feel danger about this man. Like I shouldn't get closer and try to understand because it might be inevitable. This sensation was really frustrating for me as I was unable to see what was really wrong. He was a complex mind but I wanted to understand, I wanted to get closer.

The thing is, I couldn't ignore the way he makes me feel as a woman too. I could feel it through my body, sometimes I want to overstep the marks but I'm too scared to find something that I won't like about it. I can't get too much involved, I've suffered too much before.

But the hardest fights are between you and only you. It is like you become your worst enemy.

And I know how my heart feels whenever he is next to me, or whenever he looks at me, it is like I'm light and heavy at the same time. There is always this little voice deep inside who wishes to see him and hope to hear his voice even if I know that he won't be here today. And I hate myself for that.

Sometimes I walk by his office and look briefly through the door, but he is not here. Actually I do it every time, I can't help it. I check my phone even if I know he didn't send anything, it is like I'm hoping for a sign, something from him. And when nothing happens I can't help but feel disappointed.

Actually, I realized all of this the day when, after a few days without seeing him I felt something. That day, I just went out of my office to buy something quick to drink, and saw him through the glass, sitting on a chair. He was on the phone, holding a pen to write something down and looked quite busy.

At that moment I just looked at him and all his details without moving, captivated. And when I saw him smiling, I smiled too. I had never realized how much I liked to watch him until that moment, even if he wasn't doing anything in particular. The curve of his lips and the way he bit them made me lose my shit. I remember standing there for a good five minutes and then, he turned his head and looked at me briefly through his beautiful eyes.

I knew.

I knew I would have done anything to keep these eyes on me, to have all his attention. I turned away quickly and gulped hard as my cheeks were already getting red, knowing that something special had happened. That's how I started to look at him differently, and to feel different towards him. I could feel it through my body, but my brain wasn't ready yet.

I bite my lips and smile like an idiot as I was remembering him, but the lady from the dry-cleaner's brought me back to reality, her voice echoing in my head.

"Miss ? Miss ?" Suddenly I turn my head to look at her, confused.

"Excuse me I was... thinking about something else. Can I take back all the clothes now ?"

"Yes, you can." She turns around to take all Mr. Malik's suits and hold them to me. "Here you are, all cleaned up."

"Thank you. You can send the receipt to this magazine, Mr. Malik will pay you."