My dear boss Zayn

Move on

Not a day goes by without thinking about what happened between me and him. Not a single one. He's constantly in my head. Every day I picture the scene, I see us together and then I see us tearing each other apart. It is like an obsession, a painful obsession because it seems like I can't think straight. I'm always coming back to him.

Questions without proper answers are running through my mind and it is driving me crazy. What did I do or what should I have done ? And each time I close my eyes, I see him throwing something on the wall again. I can't help but feel shivers running down my spine because at this moment I thought that he was going to hurt me.

I saw his eyes, but I didn't see his soul through them. I remember running as fast as I could, shutting the door one for good and never looking back. But now, it's been days since I last went to work, I haven't seen him for a whole week, cloistered in my home. But he didn't even text me or try to make up things, so I guess he doesn't give a damn.

I'm frightened because I saw a part of him I never thought I would see. Even though it hurts being away from him, I can't ignore what happened. I would never talk to him again. I would never trust him again.

It is time to move on and do something with my life, things cannot stay the same. That's why I've decided to quit this job, and I'm doing it today.

I take my stuff with me, my hands already shaking, I'm trying to reason myself but my body won't listen. I'm just so scared of meeting him or just seeing him, it paralyzes me completely. Just the thought of him in a suit, looking at me, would make me pass out. But I'm not the one who should be ashamed so I'll keep my head up. After all, all I did was being myself with him.

I don't know what his reaction will be, but he has no choice, this is my decision and he has to respect it. I can't work for a man who might cross the line, I can't do it to myself.

Once I am in front of the building I take a deep breath and start to walk in. As always, people are way too busy to even pay attention to you, but today that's exactly what I want. I would do anything to be a ghost right now and I already want to get out from here.

I step in the elevator and my heart skips a beat when the doors open, too afraid to be alone in the same room with him. Fortunately, only a few people I know are with me, I push the button to reach the right floor. Each step taking me closer to him and my chest tightens, I feel like I won't have enough air to breathe or even to speak.

I walk carefully, looking everywhere around me, my palms already sweat. I don't even know what I'm doing right now but I keep going. I'm walking towards his office and each step I make seems so painful, like my feet are getting heavier. I'm holding my letter of resignation tight against my chest when I'm finally in front of his door. I see his name written in gold letters and my stomach twists at the sight of it. It is like it reminds me that he does really exist, it did really happen.

And he did really hurt me.

I'm about to knock on the door, my arm weak just like my whole body when I turn my head and see Angelo walking by. I feel relieved for a second as an idea crosses my mind.

"Candice ?!" He says, quite surprised to see me.

"Hi Angelo, how are you ?" He frowns.

"You're the one I should ask. We haven't seen you for days at work, everything's fine ?" He seems so pure and caring, I wonder if he knows.