BTS Imagines

jimin - angst

⚠️WARNING! : Mentions of self-harm

I bit my lip, staring at my form in the mirror. Jimin, my boyfriend, was off promoting their new album. Our empty, lonely apartment. I crossed my arms and stared at my hips. They were way too wide for my taste. And my legs weren't long and they weren't that skinny. My eyes travelled back up my form. My bust wasn't as attractive as other girls', my arms were chubby, and my waist wasn't as small as other girls'.

Sighing, I walked over to the bathroom and stared at my face. Even though I couldn't see the rest of my body, I could still pick out my flaws.

'Fat'

'Worthless'

'Ugly'

Ever since Jimin and I had publicized our relationship, ARMYs hadn't responded to me very well. Jimin tried his best to assure me that they'd warm up to me, but I wasn't so sure anymore. It had been almost a year now. The fans  still hated me and claimed I was changing Jimin. Maybe I am? Maybe they're right?

I pulled open one of the sink drawers and stared at the gleaming razor. Biting my lip and making it bleed, my eyes filled with tears. I had stopped cutting four years ago. My best friend had found me in a pool of my blood in my bathroom, making her panic. She made me swear to never do it again and took every sharp thing away from me. In addition, she moved in with me for a while, making sure that I never left her sight.

A choked sob came from my throat, surprising me. I realized I had tears dripping down my face and I wiped them off. I slammed the drawer shut and sunk down against the bathroom wall. My loud sobs filled the room, the apartment even.

"(Y/n)?"

My head whipped up and my eyes met the wide ones of Jimin. My shoulders and bottom lip shook violently. He dropped to his knees beside me, wrapping his arms around me. "Are you okay? Are you hurt? What happened?" Jimin fires questions at me, to which I only buried my face in my hands. He started to ask another but I interrupted him. "Why are you even dating me still?" I managed to choke out. "I'm fucking worthless, Jimin. I'm not pretty. I'm not skinny or appealing in any way. Why the hell are you still with me?" I was yelling at this point.

The apartment went silent. Jimin was just staring at me, shocked. I shook my head and buried my face back into my hands. Jimin's arms unwrapped from my body and he sat down next to me. "I'm not dating you for your appearance, (Y/n)." He rested his head down on my shoulder. "I'm dating you because you're you. I love your personality. I love how your smile just lights up any room your in. Hell, just your presence lights up my day. I've never felt this way with anyone. I'm absolutely and positively in love with you. Obsessed even." Jimin let out a small laugh. "Everything about you draws me to you and makes me fall for you more and more each day. So what if you're not skinny? So what if you're not as pretty as a model? It doesn't matter to me. Because to me, you'll always be beautiful. No matter what you do, and no matter what happens. You mean the world to me, (Y/n). You're not worthless. Please don't ever think that. And dear god, please don't leave me."

I felt his tears on my shirt. I rested my head on top of his. Jimin grabbed my hand and squeezed it reassuringly. "I love you too, Jimin. And don't even think for a second that I'd leave you."

We just sat on the floor of the bathroom until we fell asleep. And even as we slept, our hands never left each other.