Live longer

Sweets and apologies #1

 The sun starts to go lower and lower with every minute of waiting. Liam stayed in his room all day after mom tryed to talk to us . This should get him down more then he was and now he just stay and wait for nothing. I am feeling the same. I don't have what to do. I just want to know what could happen if i talked to her. Maybe she could change something or at least she could talk to Liam. I know how hurt he is and how badly he wants to see her again. He loved her the most. I was never that close to her because i was staying with Liam all the time and i just ignored her. Now i am feeling bad for stealing this chance from Liam. Maybe he hates me right now or he is questioning "what if?" .

 I hear a door open so i get out of my room . Liam got out from his room so i go downstairs to see if he is there.

-Are you mad on me? i say when i get down in the kitchen. He is drinking a glass of water , but after he finished it he says: 

-I am not, but you know you could tell me about her before she leaved. And he goes in the livingroom and sits on the sofa.

-I know and i am sorry. I didn't knew what to do. I didn't see her for almost five years and...

-No! I didn't sow her for five years! You didn't sow her for five hours! He is angry. I know he don't wanna fight but i think his feeling are  down. I am sorry for him. I really am.

I go to the fridge an take some chocolate from it and then i get back to the couch. I want to know if he remember when we was little he was always sweet with me and gave half of his chocolate everytime mom bought him some. I was always laughing and saying that " you should not give me that much chocolate cause i am gonna be a round pancake after a while" . When i get next to him i am saying " You should take some. I become a pancake but you are still a flat plate." He looks at it and almos smiled. Almost.

-If you think i am gonna forgive you for a piece of chocolate you are wrong. But i take this anyway.

-You know you said you don't want to fight with me. Right after mom's appearance. And this is what you are doing now. I told you i am sorry but you don't listen to me. Did you think that maybe she didn't stayed to see if i am gonna open the door again because she don't love us? 

Liam has a really unreadable face right now. I hurt him with those words. I didn't want to.He gets up and walk . 

-I didn't want to say that, Liam ...

-But you did. And i know you are not sorry. I know you don't love her. And if you thing i am still going to Washington , you are wrong. You can go and say Charlie hello from me , because i don't give a shit on him, neather on you. 

-Liam...

This is not my baby brother. And i think it's not because his fighting or because mom came. I don't know what is happening , but i am gonna find out.

Tonight i want to let Liam some space, to think and to get some rest after what happend earlier. I went to one of my friends over night saying that my dad is not home and i don't wanna be alone at home after what happend las year. It is almost not a lie cause my dad is not home , and last year somone broke in our house and stealed some of my dad's collection clocks.

-Oh, dear you can come here when you want, said Rachel hugging me close. Ok, i think i got enough perfume of sweets for my entire life. Rachel smells like a pack of kinder chocolate . And over it you are a lost case if you say to her to shut up. At least she talks everytime about her so ii don't have to talk or apologize for something, cause she does everything. Sometime is really cool to don't have to say something an get a shade, but sometime this girl is a pain in the ass. Today i went to her because right now i need to hear something else then my problems. 

The night was long and booring but i still thank god that it took my thougts away for a few hours. I am feeling a little bit bad for Rachel because all the night she talked and i wasn't that nice to listen to her. Maybe Liam is right. I am a careless person and i can't just say sorry after my mistakes.

Now the light that everyone loves in California is gone. No sun shines , just a grey sky that predict a storm. Better then that i could not hope.

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HEYYYYYY everyone. I want to say sorry first about my english ( i want all of you to know that english is not my first language so i am not verry good at it) and second about the thing that my chapters are short. I am sorry . I just don't know how to pt my thougts in order and write them, because i have a lot of ideas in my head. Until i find a way to that , red on!  And did you hear the song "couple of kids " by Maggie? Go and hear it cause it is amazing! Bye!