Live longer

Looking

I got out of the car with the note in my hand. Alex is still sitting on the stairs with his head in his hands."Did you find the key?" He asked , but i said nothing showing to him the note. He makes a surprised face when he sees it ,but, he takes the note and reads it. His eyes starts to wide and he is looking at me .

"He is gone"i say and a tear slippped on my right cheek. "I don't know what to do without him." I sit down next to Alex and he wraps and arm aroun my shoulders telling me that is fine. He told me we gonna find Liam. I start to cry harder and i hug him tighter.

"I think i know where are the keys" said Alex.He got up and looked around the garden . He took something from the ground and he come to me . "Let's get into the house."

We got into the house without talking to each other and Alex turns the lights on. I go and sit on the couch . I take a pillow and hug it tight thinking why Liam would run away and, the most important, why dad and mom don't care about this at all. They forgot us that fast? Or they  just don't care? I let the pillow free when Alex is askking me if i want something to drink."Coffee. Dark coffee. " I say and he looks at me with a surprised face. " You sure? It is a little bit late for dark coffee. "I look at him and i am thinking why everyone is worring about me."I'm fine"i say turning my eyes to the black flat screen TV. 

After a while he comes with two cups in his hands, one with a transparent red colour liquid in and one with opaque black liquid in. Dark coffee looks like poison, but everyone is still drinking it.I take the cup and i am putting it next to my lips, staining the cup with my lipstick.I drink a little and i am putting the cup on the coffee table ."Why did he run away?I mean , i know about your parents, but he had a pretty good life." When he says this i am wondering why the human rase can be this stupid."He run away because he didn't have a good life. Like me. I was planning to run away too , but than this happens.

"You was going to run away? "He is asking me with a predictable face."Why?"

"Alex, you know i was going to run away. Everyone could predict this. Or , at least everyone who know me a little" I explaned to him. His face starts to relax a little. Maybe he starts to accustom with the idea of a life without me. Maybe he don't care that much about me.

We ended the conversation without saying anything else and we watched a movie in the living room until 11 p.m. We talked until the middle of the night and then Alex went to sleep. 

I take my computer from my bag and i am looking for flights to Germany. I don't want Alex to know about that because he will say i should not go, cause if he loves me , he will come back, but i don't belive in this. Is like no one can't go anywhere if that person loves a person. Is like staying under the bars. Is like being a dog in a cage. 

I found an airplane that will go to Hambug at 8 a.m. next day. I will have an entire day planning my way out of this world. I found a hotel close to the zone , in case i don't fine Liam and i am rezerving it for 3 days. If i don't find Liam in three days i will come back in America, but this time i am goig straight to Washington and Charlie.

I buyed the tiket for the plane and i put my laptop on my bag. I take my phone with my headphones and i listen to music. I put the volume to the maxim point so i can't concentrate about anything else. I am stareing at the ceiling thinking at nothing while the song"alone" by Marshmellow was playing in my head. The most of the time worked , but when i hear the verse "nothing feels like home" i start to cry saying in my mind how true this is. The melody stops after a while and  another one starts to play. Nothing touched me like this song did , but non of them was this meanful for me, even if this doesn't have almost at all verses. The notes and the sound is vibrating trough my hole body when i listen this song, and i remember the day when Liam showed it to me. It was a sunny day, even if outside was raining.