Ruin Me

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I sit on the bed in my cell, Eren has a key to get out, so he chooses to not be near me. He sits on the bench outside of my cell.

" You weren't lying back there, were you." He says.

" I don't want to be the enemy anymore Eren. I don't want to always be the bad guy. You guys gave me a chance to change, before I didn't, I was given a mission and that failed and now I have nothing, I have nothing to look forward to, but I am now given a choice for the first time and I chose to be with you." 

His green orbs flash in the light by my answer.

" I see. I am glad you chose to be with humanity. I trust you." 

" How can you trust me? After everyone that has happened, after everything I've done." My mind wanders.

" I can tell you mean what you said back there, and I know what it's like to be a titan, the other guys really don't know a thing other than Hanji. When I am a titan, I don't feel like a god, I feel like God himself." His eyes turn down and he stares off in the distant, he looks ashamed of who he is.

" Yes, I feel the same. Overwhelming power, nothing hurts. I don't feel pain or tired. I feel a massive rush of greatness and strength." I say

" You aren't a monster Eren, you have flesh and blood and bone like everyone else, don't feel bad about who you can become." I want him to know this, because I have struggled with this same self hate. 

He gives me a passionate look, he mouth slightly parted, his eyebrows don't furrow anymore and his face softens at me. He smiles lightly.

" Thank you Annie, wow, um. I think I needed to here that from someone who understands this. Same goes for you."

I just nod at him, I have nothing more to say really. hours go by and it is late, the candles outside my cell are lit and give the whole basement a warm glow. I see Eren, his hair is like a deep chocolate color that is straight with some waves. His olive skin glows in this lighting.

He leans back on my cell wall. I stare up in my dark cell room at the ceiling.

" I'm sorry Eren." 

I can feel him turn towards me. It is silent for a long time, what feels like years.

" I know" 

" I hurt you and so many other people and you are all so kind to me, I don't deserve any of this. I deserve death."

" Annie, " He loses his words. 

I turn around on my bed, I can sense he is looking at me. I hear him take a deep long breath and exhale in a sad tone. I know what he's thinking, I don't need to hear it. I don't feel like talking anymore and  hope he doesn't too. 

I have changed a lot. Before today I was cold as stone, no emotion that showed. I was quiet and my whole world was against me for being who I was. Now I'm a big mess, I cried. I just could't use my words, I broke down. Maybe it is ok to show emotion, maybe it'll show that I am a human and not just a monster in everyone's eye. Maybe I will end up liking who I am. My mind drifts as I grow more and more on the verge of sleep.

" Goodnight Annie."

I'm too tired to respond, but I allow myself to give a little smile. Thank you Eren Jaeger for giving me this chance. My heart skipped a beat and I drifted into a deep sleep.