Is It Love?

Start of Something New

                                                                        *Abby POV*

I can't take it anymore I gotta do something.

I have decided to start something new.

I take out my phone and began typing.

                     "Ok from now on when I miss you and I can't talk to you I'm going to send you my thoughts on everything. But I'll try to explain then using song lyrics. Sooooooooo below is lyrics from millions reasons

I've got a hundred million reasons to walk away

but baby, I just need one good one to stay

                                And that's really how I feel..... How is that how I feel you might ask... Well. If I'm going to be honest with you (which I ALWAYS am and ALWAYS will be) but if I'm being honest I do have a few reasons on why I should walk away. I mean I can understand them but they are still reasons....

                             For example: we hardly talk anymore. I trust you with everything I have but I still feel like you don't like me like you say you do. I fear you talk bad about me to your room mates. That all of this is an act. I'm only here to past the time...

                          I mean they are only thoughts but I can't shake them.... I feel like our friendship\relationship. Type thing we have is one sided.... Like I know you try but I don't know.... Like I try to pour my heart out and I get 'Omg your cute I love you baby.' Like every time... again I understand that you are busy and stuff so you really don't have time to actually think about things. Witch I understand... but me on the other hand have WAY too much time to think and it fucking kills me. Like you don't even understand.

                            We always talk about us meeting.... Well. I fear the day we meet..... For a few reasons. What if it's not like we expected? What if you realized maybe in not as cute as you thought? What if I'm too short? What if you think I'm weird? Like our feelings now just disappears and we are not what the other really wants?

                    I honestly don't know what to do anymore.... Like I know that I'm fucking crazy and I treat what we have like we have been together for 8 years and you're giving up on me and I'm trying to fight for you but you don't want me.... I don't know I guess I'm just trying to say that I'm tired on my thoughts and constant wondering that I'm so close to saying fuck it and walking away.... But I don't want to because I love you so much and you will always have my heart and I was in hope that one day I could have yours for years and forever like you will have mine. No words can explain what I feel for you. My heart beats super duper fast what I text you and bursts and melts when I hear your voice and laugh. My tummy tightens and twists and turns when I see your smile. I get tongue tied just trying to talk about you let alone to you. Tyler I really dont want to walk away. So Baby just give me one good reason to stay... that's all I'm asking......"

                                                         -Abby <3