The Protected (Book 2)

Chapter 26: Clear

Mathew led us to a room I was not familiar with. He turned to face Sebastian. "I need you to find Alana, bring her here."

He nodded before leaving.

Mathew now faced me. "I don't know how much time we have together but we need to clear the air before I take the next step in my plan."

"And what is that?" I asked nervously.

He shook his head. "No, my questions first. Why were you in that dungeon?"

I debated whether telling him the truth or not but decided I would much rather deal with Mathew's punishment than Lord Yokshir's.

"Lord Yokshir and I made an agreement, at the last moment I decided to go against it," I decided to answer.

"What was that agreement?" he asked, pushing for more.

I shouldn't tell him, but what harm could I do now? He already hated me.

"To make sure this wedding happened," I said.

Mathew was silent for a moment. "And why did you go against it?"

I bit my lip. "I read the letter your parents sent you. They gave you the option not to marry Alana but you still went along with the arrangements. I needed to get to you and let you know that all the things I said were not true. That your parents do love you, that there will be a woman that would love you, that you still had a choice not to marry Alana. I am so sorry for everything I said. It was all a lie. I needed you to ha--"

I stopped myself from continuing. I did not want him to forgive me. I did not deserve it.

"To hate you?" he asked in disbelief.

I did not do or say anything.

"So let me get this straight, Lord Yokshir told you to make sure I got married to Alana. So you tried to make me hate you. You read my letter and came to tell me not to marry Alana, but to go and find another person to love. A person that is not you. Yokshir stopped you before you could get to me and threw you in the dungeon?" he finished with a question. I hesitantly nodded my head. He took a step closer, a deep scowl on his face. "Am I supposed to hate you now?"

Again, I slowly nodded my head. "Yes. I know that I should not be forgiven for my harshness."

He let out a disbelieved laugh. "How do you-- How does that--"

I bit my lip even harder.

"Do you know what the worst part in all of this was?" he asked taking another step closer.

I shook my head.

"That even after everything you did, every word you stabbed me with, I still loved you," he said taking another step closer. Our toes were almost touching.

"You shouldn't," I whispered. I did not forgive myself. He shouldn't either.

"That's what you don't get. This isn't just about you. Loving goes both ways. You cannot make decisions about us and not let me have a say in it," he said, his voice laced with hurt. "I told you, I told you I was going to find a way out of it."

A tear fell down my cheek as I hastily wiped it with the back of my hand. "I should have trusted you, but-- but--"

There was no but. Truth was I let Lord Yokshir get to me, he knew the exact words to make me bend. He found my weaknesses and exploited them. "-- there is no but. That is why you should not forgive me. I do not deserve your trust or your heart. I still want you to go find your happiness."