Right Brain x Left Brain- Bo Burnham

Ch.1 Conflicting Thoughts

(Bold is Left and Right Brain Talking to Bo in his mind. "This is Bo talking".)

*Bo pov*
"Why do you wanna get rid of us Bo? I thought you loved us! We only wanna help you, ya know. Right, lefty?"

"Yes Bo, as much as I hate that 'Right' is rig- "

"Ha! I'm always right silly! It's who I am", Right Brain said with a giggle.

"CORRECT!" Left brain said with a growl.
"We are doing this in order to assist you. Getting rid of us is another one of your terrible ideas. Your life is such a mess it's embarrassing, you need all the help you can get. Even if some of that help comes from 'Mr. Right' over here."

"Hey!"

"Wow, thanks. I feel a lot more sure of your abilities to help me now. This is exactly what I need to hear." Bo said as he rolled his eyes and walked over to his refrigerator. He quickly scanned the interior and saw that he still had some leftover cake from his last 'man period' session and smiled to himself as he placed it on the table.

"Are you sure you want to eat that? You're just going to eat half of it, think about how unhealthy it is, and leave the rest on the table while you go stare into the mirror and hate yourself even more than you already do. You're already starting to get pudgy, another boost of sugar really isn't what you need right now you fat fuck."

"Lefty! No swearing! And stop talking like that, you're making him sad! Cake is delicious and it makes him happy! Plus you know we get to taste it too and I wanted some!"

"Exactly."

Resigned, Bo sighed as he put the cake back and went to sit on his couch and read his favourite book as it always made him feel better. He settled down into the plush cushions and hoped his 'pals' wouldn't bicker too much knowing how much he loves this book.

Of course, they went right back to their new disagreement, and he decided to just close his eyes and listen to them until they tired each other out.

"UGH! See what you did lefty! Now he might not eat 'till tomorrow! I hope you're ashamed of yourself! We might go another month without anything besides water and that nasty cereal you keep making him buy!"

"It's for his own good, he hasn't eaten at all today and I won't allow the first thing he consumes to be cake. His teenage fanbase wouldn't like an overweight Bo and you know it."

"Well I think his fans love him and they wouldn't mind if he put on a few pounds! There'll just be more to love!"

"Don't give me that 'it doesn't matter what you look like shit'! Besides, you very well know that's not an option when he goes prancing left to right on the stage during his shows. If he wants to be lazy and not work out, fine! But he should at least watch what he eats between his shows. The only overweight stand up comedian that comes to mind is Gabriel Iglesias and we both know Bo isn't and never will achieve that level of success for his weight not to matter. Furthermore, he clearly isnt-"

"ENOUGH! LOOK AT YOU LEFTY, THIS IS WHY HE WANTS TO KICK US OUT! CUZ OF YOU! IF YOU WEREN'T SO TERRIBLE MAYBE HE WOULD KEEP US, BUT NO! YOU JUST LIKE TO BRING HIM DOWN ALL THE TIME AND WATCH AS HE HATES HIMSELF MORE AND MORE! NOW BECAUSE OF YOU WHO KNOWS WHAT WILL HAPPEN TO US? WE MIGHT DIE! W-"

"We technicality can't die, we aren't alive to begin with-"

"DON'T INTERRUPT ME! Y-YOU MONSTER! YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN, I CAN'T BELIEVE Y-"

  "BOTH OF YOU SHUT UP!"

Then all was quiet. Bo took a deep breath and prepared himself to explain. He didn't want to go through with this at first but he realised that they deserved a second chance to exist. Even after all trauma they've caused him. He's lived with them his whole life and as much as he hated to admit it, he would miss them. He knew a way for them all to come out of this... Alive. But did he want to put them through that? They have always existed in his mind since the time he could talk when they didn't bicker so much. He certainly couldn't continue to live like this, but he didn't really want to see him go.

Then, he remembered a way this might work out, but it was quite a risk he would be taking. And to do it, he was going to have to call in a favour from an old friend...