Zack had convinced a reluctant Carl to surrender some hash to us. After receiving the baggie Zack chucked a roll of 20s at him and backed out of the room with something attempting swagger. It occurred to me me this is the only way I have ever seen Zack pay for anything. While we were heading upstairs, something dawned on Zack and he ran back to Carl's room.
"Can I buy a six pack off of you?"
"Why? You don't drink anymore..."
"It's a very special occasion."
"Ooh, what kind?" He asked, a single eyebrow raised in a worryingly suggestive manner.
"A very un-sexy kind." Zack droned.
"Oh. Well, there's a case in the trunk of my car. I can give you as many as you want for... $4 each."
"That's fucking insane!" I call.
"It is, but I'm breaking the law for you guys."
"You're a fucking drug dealer!"
"Ah-ah-ah, Darcy, you know what I mean. Now just take the fucking beer and don't throw up on the carpet." A jingling ring of keys flies through the air towards Zack.
"Shouldn't you get it?" I asked. Carl ran his hand through his hand through his close-shaven hair.
"I have shit to do, alright? Get it out of the car yourself and don't let anyone see you." Zack nods, and manages to retrieve the case without a single person noticing. I start to realize that the beer is mostly for him, and I feel a rush of worry. I probably shouldn't.
Zack's been able to hold his liquor since he was in the grade 7. began to head upstairs so we can begin our somber festival, but Zack dragged me into the den and plopped me and the case down on the rug in front of his monstrous flat-screen. He then started organizing the items he had acquired for this occasion in a line, like this.
#1) Hash
#2) Carl's bong. The big one.
#3) A toilet paper roll
#4) A rubber band
#5) Dryer sheets
#6) Several bags of mini-muffins
#7) A bag of Cheetos
#8) The 12-pack of beer
#9) Zack's prized collection of 90s cartoons
Clearly, some serious shit was about to go down, so I did what any sensible person would do. I grabbed a handful of Cheetos as Zack popped in the first season of Ed, Edd, 'N' Eddy. Zack rooted through his pockets and slapped two tens and a five on the floor next to him.
"You know I don't get drunk easily, but I'll still have Carl drive us home. I don't want any more shit on my conscience." I nodded. He opened a bottle. I packed a bowl, and we proceeded to lie on the floor, laughing our asses off at our favorite cartoons. That is, until Zack's fourth beer. I was only halfway through my second when I heard Zack sniffling next to me. He set his arm on my shoulder with surprising coordination.
"Darcy, I'm so sorry." He said, in a voice only slightly slurred by the booze he didn't want to let go of. "I'm so sorry about everything, I never wanted this to happen to you. It's all Scott's fault. You might leave forever and it's all because that little shit couldn't stay away from Jamie."
"I tried talking to my mom about it."
"Oh yeah? And how did that go?"
"She told me to fuck off and if I didn't like it she'd move on without me."
"Your mother is as bitchy as mine."
"Every parent on Earth pales in comparison to yours."
"She's a whore, Darcy. She didn't neglect us. She didn't abandon us. She was just a whore."
"Please don't call your mom a whore." I said. Zack sits up straight and looks at me incredulously.
"Are you saying she isn't?"
"No! Zack, I know she's a horrible person. What she did to your family was unforgivable. I just... I just remember how sweet she was to you when you were little and I don't want to ruin that memory."
"Ruin it? Darcy, that was already ruined. She started cheating on my dad before I was born. For all I know that fucker isn't actually my dad." I look at Zack and see his eyes sparkling with tears from the life he just relived. He looked at me apologetically as a tear fell from mine.
"Okay, okay, I'm sorry." I said
"No, it's fine." He looked down at the fifth bottle, now in his hand. "Drinking was a stupid idea, anyway." His bottle soared through the air and into the recycling bin, where it cracked into pieces. We never fight like that. Ever. Not even for a minute.
Of course, we never talk about his mom, either. And we never drink. I guess you got a pretty good idea of why, huh? Zack took a hit, exhaled into the bounce blower, and grabbed a bag of mini muffins.
"Am I the only one who thought that Marie was super fucking hot?"
"No, Zack, no you weren't."
~
Rock Bottom-Eminem
