Misadventures of Life

Romantic Ramblings

     Now this probably isn't the best way to continue some random book like this, quickly following it up with relationships and such, but this is written technically on Valentine's Day (since it's 12:22 am and technically that's Valentine's Day morning), I figured it's appropriate.
     Plus Timbs for Limbs reminded me of it.
     Anywho, our school has a health club that sells these nice little doo hickeys called Heart-O-Grams. They're little cards that have an anatomical heart on them, a nice little candy heart text message like "B Mine" and such, and then a random heart fact. You can buy them for fifty cents and the person you send it to gets whatever message you wrote a sucker.
     Now, this being the first time in my life I've ever had a wonderful girlfriend who stands to be with me in public, I figured I should buy her some heart o grams.
     I didn't know how much they costed, and I only carry twenty dollar bills in my wallet, because that's the only kind ATMS give out and the kind I get for allowance. And I also didn't want to cause a huge hassle by asking for change for a twenty for something that was only a few dollars, which I thought was the cost.
     So I just slapped a twenty in the table and asked for as many heart o grams as that would buy.
     That's when Thomas informed me of their price of merely fifty cents.
     Now, Thomas is a hard person to describe. You know Sheldon from Big Bang? Think that, but only for social interaction, remove the numerous degrees, and you'll have a rough outline.
     If Thomas were a lightbulb, he'd be the lightbulbs at school. They're functional and useful but no one wants them in their house and they wouldn't use them to decorate with, you know?
      Of course, nothing against Thomas, he has his shining moments. And he's great for a good joke. Whether the joke is on or with him is another matter.
     This is important to know because, had anyone else informed me it was a mere fifty cents, I would've tried to buy only a few.
      But this is Thomas. It's like a tradition (and darn well near impossible not to) bother him.
       And thus I demand Thomas get me a collection of heart o grams equal to twenty dollars.

So now I have a freaking stack of FORTY GOD DAMN HEART O GRAMS. I've never really written one before so I dunno what I'm actually going to write to my love. Especially since these cards are read and censored and such. Mushy gushy poetry is cliche and also embarrassing to have someone else read, ESPECIALLY since the person who's censoring them, head of the health club, is my mother.

Then, brilliance.

I only managed to fill out 23 out of the 40 heart o grams with unique poetic heart felt phrases, considering work and other projects soaked up time, but I think it's more than anyone in her class will probably get.

But the 23 I did fill out? All in different languages and dialects. Thank god for google translate.
I just wrote some phrases, played around with a language until the translation was what I wanted, and then wrote down the new language. Each card had the foreign phrase, and the name of the language so she could translate it later.
Brilliant right?
God I hope so otherwise I'm going to be pretty upset. This is written before the cards are delivered so I mean, I hope my girlfriend is ok receiving 23 heart o grams and lollipops filled with random foreign languages ranging from Swahili to Icelandic to Latin to Aborigines.
Time will tell.