r e m e m b e r i n g;; ;;f o r g e t t i n g

r e l a p s e

i'd already relapsed the whole day in my head, how the walls fell down. they haven't done that since 11:09. but my hands are too sore to hold them back up.
i try another relapse, but the faces in the room are too far gone. down the rabbit hole which is too big to accommodate me. all i can remember is someone who seemed to deep in thought to be human. an alien or a planet, i haven't decided yet. but they were not an animal, for i fear if they were they'd imagine themselves out of the zoo and it'd work. i wonder if i was that deep in thought, too. i can't remember no matter how much i relapse. forget the relapse.
a few more people leave, and then beep beep beep
11:09. daily reminder number 438. the one thing i can remember i wish i could forget. time to relapse.
i think about who else is awake right now, and wonder if the alien/planet is awake. i tell myself yes, yes they are, they're too busy imagine-teleporting out of zoos to have time for sleep. i then imagine i intertwine myself with every awake human. i am not as good as imagining as alien/planet is.
i invite freckled girl for a sleepover, but no response. she's probably asleep. i'll wait.