last ones out (ryden oneshots)

You're A Star (In Nobody's Eyes But Mine)

Title is a lyric from Andy, You're A Star by The Killers

I reconise him from across the bar, at this point it's hard not to. He looks the same, the same look in his eyes he always had, maybe slightly duller but anyone could see it's still there. He looks slightly older, but of course, that's to be expected after many years. I can still see the man I used to know, though.

It's merely a coincedence, surprisingly, that we happen to be in the same place, maybe fortunate or unfortunate for us, I can't tell. It shouldn't be too bad, considering he hasn't noticed me, he probably won't. While he sticks out, I blend in. It had always been like that, he would be the star between us, whether it was in the stupid band we decided to start in highschool, or asking people out.

I didn't mind so much then, and I don't now. He was just more than I was, he was destined to fame, perhaps he should've persued it, instead of doing whatever he's doing now. He was always more likely to be well known, to make an impact, yet here he is, with no one knowing his name.

I remember his name.

I hadn't idolised him, so much, he was a year younger and had a stupid hair cut when I first met him, and grew up keeping ever more stupid hair cuts, and I hadn't been much better, but he always seemed to think of me as cool. I didn't mind. Now, though, he's grinning and he's everything anyone would want.

He grew up well, I can see that clearly, he's attractive and I have no problems admitting that. Even if I did have a crush on him in high school, that's exactly what it was and nothing else. A crush on one of my best friends, a crush on someone who saw the world in my eyes and I liked that. I doubt he'd see them now.

He isn't looking over, and that's fine. I don't think I want him to, I think I want to admire him from a far, taking in every feature slowly to create an image of who he's become, trying to see if I recognise anyone he's with. I don't. I didn't expect to either, so that's okay.

I'm trying to remember what he used to look like more clearly, but his features keep blurring in my mind, all I have to remember then is an old photo in my room, he's doing something stupid, jumping onto my back probably, I'm smiling, trying to keep him from falling, and we look happy. The photo's a little damaged from the one time I spilled tea on it, but it still looks nice.

I can't admit I don't miss those times, they were some of the best moments of my life and it was nice being happy and with no care then. While everyone's destined to grow up, sometimes it seemed like we weren't, and we were to escape that. We seemed immortal together, which seemed like a nice idea. To never be alone.

Life after school tore us apart but that was life, and he's here now, looking happy and as attractive as he always was. He may have grown, but in my eyes he was the same person I knew all those years ago, with barely any differences, the person that'd sing along to every song on the radio no matter what, and would always, somehow, be there.

He's here now.

I don't know whether to speak to him, let him know I'm here, or not. Maybe I should, maybe we'll become friends again, even if it does seem highly unlikely. It's not as if we fell out or anything, we just stopped speaking, which was a perfectly normal thing to happen. Nothing I wanted though.

He seems happy, and I don't want to ruin that for him, getting in the way of a nice evening for him. Maybe I'm just too scared to speak to someone from my past, because they weren't my best moments, but I do think it's mainly because now probably isn't a good time to. Besides, the only person I still know from earlier in life is Spencer, and that's because he can't get rid of me.

It probably isn't good at this point, to notice that Brendon's no longer with his group of friends, and I can't see him. Maybe he's left, maybe he's just gone to the bathroom. He can't have seen me, I'm in a sort of crowd, probably hidden by at least five people, he hasn't seen me.