𝐒𝐀𝐕𝐈𝐎𝐑 ❱ 𝐃𝐀𝐙𝐀𝐈 𝐎𝐒𝐀𝐌𝐔

thirteen.

"hey dazai introduce me to the people in the agency? like describe them for me." you asked as you poked the man on the cheek, who laid his head on your lap.

"they're a bunch of memes..." he yawned as he drifted off to sleep.

"what the hell is that supposed to mean?" you pulled on his hair in frustration and stopped after hearing some groaning.

"ow jeez okay i'll describe them for you..." he stood up straight and narrowed his eyes at you.

"ladies first so, atsushi nakajima is your usual furry, japanese scoobydoo. you know, the one with the purple eyes and diagonal haircut?" he started fidgeting with the bandages on his hand out of boredom, to which you nodded.

"doppo kunikida is the stereotypical glasses dude with ideals because 'perfection' is a must." he then started to roll around the wooden tiled floor and then banged his head on the wall.

"r-ranpo edogawa is the only actual detective here." he mumbled, rubbing his throbbing head.

"akiko yosano is your sadistic doctor so don't get injured." he jumped up and began hopping around the room.

"can you stay in one spot?!" you yelled at dazai, who was playing invisible hopscotch.

"eh but i'm being cute to soothe you~" he squished his cheeks.

"sit." you deadpanned and he listened in an instant.

you then stood up and went to the kitchen to fetch him something. sneering at your antics you walked to dazai.

"open wide~" you said in a singsong voice and he complied although confused.

you gave him a chocolate chip cookie and smiled a cheshire grin. "good boy." you rubbed his head. your cheeks inflated as you held in your laughter and your throat had a humming vibration.

"i'm not a pet, i'm your boyfriend! that's atsushi!" he said angrily, but still ate the cookie.

he looked at you, fighting off the expression that he wanted to admit he actually was thankful for the cookie.

"okay okay~" you ruffled his hair until it looked untamable and unruly. his once stunning brown ringlets now vaguely resembled a birds nest and any curls he had just looked a ball of cotton.

he just sat there as you practically began petting him. his face had utter nonchalance, as if he were merely waiting for you to stop. he isn't slumped at all, yet just as relaxed as his face. he's almost smiling, almost as if he enjoyed the feeling of you running you fingers through each strand of hair, detangling it in the process.

"continuing were i left off, kenji miyazawa looks like a cinnamon roll, is a cinnamon roll."

"yukichi- i mean the president is too serious but likes cats like how cute for an old fart. don't tell him i said that." he grimaced in regret and looked at you with pleading eyes.

"junichirou and naomi tanazaki combined are the literal definition of incest." there was warm breeze in the morning, yet he was shaking, traumatized even.

"kyouka izumi is a precious flower child and lastly kirako haruno is cat lady 101!" he said in a rushed voice, placing his head back on your lap.