This isn't goodbye! [Yuri On Ice!!] (Victor X Yuri)

[LETTER 1]

To my dear Yuri,

Oh my love, I don't know why I'm writing to you, you always seem to run away when you're just in my grasp. The therapist says these will help me come to terms with what has happened but I don't believe him.

I'm lying through my teeth when I say I don't miss you. The voice inside is telling me to come after you but I want to give you your space.

Anyway, 2017 European Championships are coming up... and without losing a part of me how will I compete? It will just remind me of you and the way you get nervous before starting your programme... It'll remind me how I'd wish you good luck before starting...
I hope you haven't changed your theme for this season... If you did then... I'd know it was my fault you changed it. I'm sorry

I hope you found a new coach to train with, I hope you learnt new moves. I just hope that I don't see you there competing against me because it'll break my heart and I'll end up running out with a tear down a cheek . But I'd still want you to try your best to win.

All my time is wasted training in an empty  rink with Yakov and Lilia yelling at my face to improve my jumps, I've been slacking a bit since you left. That's what they've been saying anyway. without changing a part of me, how do I win this? You left... and now I dont know what to do.

I've been heading to therapy sessions to find some release as everything has been stressful as of late... But why would you care. You're probably in Canada or someplace having the time of your life training with your new friends...

Without you maybe I don't want heaven.
And im feeling like my hearts mistaken as you left your ring behind.

From your forever love,

Victor

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SONG CHOSEN FOR THIS CHAPTER:
HEAVEN
BY TROYE SIVAN

The truth runs wild
Like a tear down a cheek
Trying to save face, and daddy heart break
I'm lying through my teeth

This voice inside
Has been eating at me
Trying to replace the love that I fake
With what we both need

The truth runs wild
Like kids on concrete
Trying to sedate, my mind in its cage
And numb what I see

Awake, wide eyed
I'm screaming at me
Trying to keep faith and picture his face
Staring up at me

Without losing a piece of me
How do I get to heaven?
Without changing a part of me
How do I get to heaven?
All my time is wasted
Feeling like my heart's mistaken, oh
So if I'm losing a piece of me
Maybe I don't want heaven?

The truth runs wild
Like the rain to the sea
Trying to set straight the lines that I trace
To find some release
This voice inside
Has been eating at me

Trying to embrace the picture I paint
And colour me free

Without losing a piece of me
How do I get to heaven?
Without changing a part of me
How do I get to heaven?

All my time is wasted
Feeling like my heart's mistaken, oh
So if I'm losing a piece of me
Maybe I don't want heaven?

So I'm counting to fifteen
Counting to fifteen, counting to fifteen
So I'm counting to fifteen
Counting to fifteen, counting to fifteen
So I'm counting to fifteen
Counting to fifteen, counting to fifteen
So I'm counting to fifteen
Counting to fifteen, counting to fifteen

Without losing a piece of me
How do I get to heaven?
Without changing a part of me
How do I get to heaven?

All my time is wasted
Feeling like my heart's mistaken, oh
So if I'm losing a piece of me
Maybe I don't want heaven?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~