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you don't even know.


it's like,

it's like waking up with the insides of your body missing

you're still you

but at the same time, you're not.


it's like,

it's like having a hole in your stomach

and no matter how hard you try

or how much you eat

the food that is meant to supply 

your body with nutrients 

and energy

is wasted.


it's like,

it's like your eye sockets are empty,

but tears are still distributed as if they still house eyes.

everyone else sees your big brown eyes

but you see nothing,

you see death.


it's like,

it's like your lungs have disappeared into thin air

and cancer that once threatened your life had magically been taken away.

miraculously, 

you still breathe,

you still survive.

you're still you,

but not really. 


it's like,

it's like  instead of blood

your heart runs on acid.

when it courses through your veins,

it burns, it burns just enough to destroy you

from the inside out.

and ironically, 

that acid,

that chemical destroying you,

is the only thing keeping you alive.


it's like,

it's like you and I are David and Goliath.

you make an exceptional Goliath,

but I am a pathetic David.

because no matter how big Goliath is,

or how cruel his taunts are,

or how broken he makes Goliath feel,

David can never kill Goliath.

because killing Goliath,

would mean David has to kill himself.


it's like,

it's like being on an airplane for the first time.

at first, you're fearful, 

then follows excitement;

no matter how strong the excitement,

fear of falling out of the sky 

is always present. 


you don't even know. 

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