Today is kierans birthday. My first born son.
Last night I put up his banner and blew up his balloons. At 15 he wants money. Looking at his measly pile of cards I am hit with a pang of guilt. He has nothing to open!
Que early morning run to gather up as many bulking present looking goods the local sweet shop has to offer. Several boxes of chocolate later I get desperate what other delights can this shop have for a 15 year old ?
I know a few scratch cards. Everyone likes scratch cards right. Remembering he asked for some hair conditioner fuck that can go in the basket as well.
Finally he rises. I can't help but feel guilty at the anticlimax. Perhaps I should Have ordered a large cake and got the dog to jump out of it.
Birthdays in this house come with a little problem. One of the tweens has an adverse reactions to everybody's but her own. I'm not sure if there is a name for it but she suffers from severe birthday envy. As a smaller child she would hide in a cupboard and cry. Today she chooses to pull exaggerated faces with every card kieran opens. Her eyes turn green as she witnesses him tucking into his chocolates. Even the gifting of conditioner has her head shaking at the injustice. Eventually she gives into the sadness of the hand she has been played and the tears fall.
We ignore her tears mostly due to us being evil. Suddenly she is reminded of a terrible injury she has been nursing since last night. If this don't steal the day, nothing will. "Mum, my toe hurts so much" offering up the offending toe she does actually have the tiniest hang nail.
A wrestle proceeds as I try to battle her thrasing leg, and try to remove it. Lots of screams, just like a banshee. The offending hang nail is removed and disposed of. Peace is resumed for now phew.
"Mum where is it?" I knew this was coming after my swift disposal. I saved her really by chucking it away, made her a better person. Today she can confidently say she has not knorred on her toenail.
