The Deepest Desire of our Hearts (Severus Snape fanfic) (Watty Awards 2012)

Chapter 3- The deepest desire of our hearts

Author’s note: Hi everyone. I’m so sorry for the delay in my update; I had a hectic week this week, and I found this chapter harder to complete than I thought!

Thank you to everyone left me comments and/or votes for the previous chapter- I so appreciate it! I am glad you guys like my story so much!

I dedicate this chapter to sentinelangel, who I think loves Severus as much as I do (and that’s not an easy thing to achieve)! She has read ALL of my stories, and is another amazing fan of mine. I really wanted to dedicate this chapter to her (it was the plan all along), so I hope you enjoy it!

As I mentioned at the end of the previous chapter, this one is my favourite in this story. As I traditionally do, I have named this chapter after the title of the story. And so, I sincerely hope you enjoy the journey this segment entails :)

Happy reading!!!

The deepest desire of our hearts

Chapter 3: ‘The deepest desire of our hearts’

Severus’ POV

      I struggled to sleep that night though probably not for the reasons you would imagine. It wasn’t that Potter saw his mother in the Mirror of Erised; in fact, it would have been unusual if he hadn’t. It wasn’t even that Albus had the hide to compare me to the likes of that boy which kept me tossing in my sleep. No, it was Albus himself; the brief expression that passed across his face kept haunting me; it meant something, I was sure of it. The short transition in his face from confusion to certainty was most definitely there, and I could not shake the feeling from my mind that it was important. After three hours of contemplation, I concluded that he was silently challenging my interpretation of what I saw in the mirror. It enraged me that he dare question something so personal. What I desired most was for Lily to be living, and myself to be forgiven for all the unspeakable things I had done. That was it, plain and simple.

But my mind would not allow me to simply accept this, no matter how certain I was. Thus, it was only when I promised myself to visit that god-forsaken mirror again that I was able to fall into a slumber.

         The following night I found myself once again sneaking around the castle like a student would when they knew they were doing something wrong. And this was wrong- this mirror reflected nothing but my deepest desire. Nevertheless, I needed to reassure myself that I was right- that Albus’ expression was merely speculation. I wished I could convince myself that what I see in the mirror didn’t matter; as long as I knew my truest desire why should I care if someone else thinks differently?

Perhaps I simply wanted an excuse to return to the mirror, because whether real or a dream, it captivated me like nothing else had.

      I took a detour via the GryffindorTower to make sure Potter was still in his dormitory. He was- the boy had better stay there.

Now that I was reassured I would have no competition for the mirror, I walked swiftly down two flights of stairs to the fifth floor, being careful to dodge a prowling Mrs Norris, and a chortling Peeves.

       At last, I made it to the unused classroom, and let myself in before I was caught. I quickly scanned the room to make sure it was uninhabited, my gaze eventually resting on the mirror.

       My legs felt like led as I forced myself to stand in front of the magical, gold-framed artefact. My heart was pounding in my chest in anticipation of seeing Lily again, to see her smile, and feel her forgiveness. My heart fluttered with the thrill of having a few precious moments with her. Now that I knew what to expect, I was prepared for what I’d see, but the soaring in my chest was something I would never get used to- the feeling that all was right in the world. The moment I saw Lily smiling at me, I knew I would have difficulty walking away this time- I never wanted to lose that possibility of forgiveness, of her being alive, that my mistake hadn’t cost her life…