An unknown, untamed wild animal lies under the skin
looking for right spots of weakness to pounce
The patience I have been feeding and trying to up bring as my off spring, refuses to grow
And the monster I hide and starve to death, refuse to die
The monster's shadow can be seen sometimes
in the grit of my teeth
in shaking of my hand
in laughter that doesn't sound like me
It's an aura that precede the actual thing, familiar yet dreadful
So I try to barricade the thing
in my silence
in my isolation
in my distractions.
Too often those barricades crumble under the moral social needs
when The separation is denied
Monster is brought upon and unleashed
I don't know if my face distorts or my eyes change
But I can feel it burning through me
I can see it on the face of my chosen target
I can feel it in my shaking voice
A sound that is unrecognizable and doesn't seem to be coming out me
A voice that sharpens the unintentional words, make them into sharp razors, piercing everything that stands in the way
And it dies when everyone is crucified with words
Blasting off the pieces of people around me, pieces of my own being
As the heavy silence starts to settle in, the monster vanish and leave me to deal with what's left of everything
It leaves me with guilt
It leaves me with a broken heart that was so solid for a minute and now shattered
It leaves me with a question
Am I really this broken incomplete self or the monster I think I am not?
